About jaywalton_4 : College kid...send money and ramen noodles
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jaywalton_4's favorite FMLs
by kaybax / 11/19/2011 at 6:42am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Love
by Yeoman / 11/19/2011 at 2:47am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Love
Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML
by dan / 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous
Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML
by southernpride93 / 11/18/2011 at 10:26am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML
by hannahk267 / 11/18/2011 at 8:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML
by Anothernametaken / 11/18/2011 at 7:22am / United States / Work
by Chubby / 11/17/2011 at 11:50am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML
by metallifreak44 / 11/14/2011 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by jocksblow / 11/14/2011 at 8:23am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 11/14/2011 at 3:45am / United States (Nevada) / Work
by LCDhell / 11/14/2011 at 12:44am / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Love
Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
by shootme / 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…