About jaywalton_4 : College kid...send money and ramen noodles
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jaywalton_4's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
by Carpet cleaner / 02/20/2012 at 9:15pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML
by Bob smith / 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
by perenoel / 12/03/2011 at 11:24am / France / Kids
by Sam / 12/03/2011 at 5:03am / United States / Transportation
by Anonymous / 12/02/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by waterbottlehit / 12/02/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by unknown52 / 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Health
by yessir / 11/30/2011 at 8:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 6:46pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by Madi / 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by preggers / 11/30/2011 at 9:57am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by no low five / 11/30/2011 at 6:17am / United States / Love
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/19/2011 at 2:08pm / United States / Love
Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML
by John / 11/19/2011 at 12:50pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back.… Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often… Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattress. After realizing the bed was squeaking, I…