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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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jaymers

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jaymers
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22342
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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jaymers's favorite FMLs

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

#415809 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (81738) - you deserved it (35231)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while, and my dad said, "honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML

#284763 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (53970) - you deserved it (16139)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by mugs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML

#259596 (408)

I agree, your life sucks (70628) - you deserved it (19660)

On 03/10/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by deez_nutz (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

#233372 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (54227) - you deserved it (13017)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by astroloser (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML

#197620 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (24648) - you deserved it (63576)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by dad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to visit my fiance's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

#197015 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (60037) - you deserved it (2565)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:36pm - misc - by joAnne (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

#185328 (448)

I agree, your life sucks (26694) - you deserved it (322908)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (141716) - you deserved it (53039)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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