About jayden10663 : I like to read FML's in my spare time. I enjoy listening to music and surfing reddit.
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was working as a camp counselor helping a five year old girl. I heard her mumble, "My grandpa is getting married on Saturday." I enthusiastically replied and told her how exciting that was! Only after did I realize that she said 'buried'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20257) - you deserved it (6227)
On 08/25/2010 at 12:32pm - misc - by counselor - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He also decided the best way to end our relationship was to kill me and our virtual child on The Sims 3 by setting us on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31234) - you deserved it (5741)
On 08/19/2010 at 1:26am - love - by Single - United States (California)
Today, my best friend thought it would look cool if I recorded her swinging while lying under the swing. She ended up kicking me in the face and laughing so hard she pissed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28607) - you deserved it (14121)
On 08/14/2010 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9751) - you deserved it (53427)
On 07/20/2010 at 7:08pm - work - by jjjjjjmmmmm92 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, during an early morning preflight check, I spotted liquid pooling under the aircraft. I rubbed my fingers in it and sniffed. Good news? No dangerous fuel or hydraulic fluid leak. Bad news? My copilot was too lazy to walk back to the hangar to take a leak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27519) - you deserved it (2929)
On 07/18/2010 at 1:02am - work - by Flyboy (man) - United States (California)
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24144) - you deserved it (21527)
On 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41662) - you deserved it (13510)
On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39437) - you deserved it (10327)
On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19399) - you deserved it (2416)
On 02/21/2010 at 2:04am - intimacy - by C.Neyy (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I sent my boss a link to a website I thought would answer a simple question she'd asked. Turns out, yes, the site did answer her question, but it also had some very suggestive ads on it. Apparently I'm the only person in the office who uses adblock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17927) - you deserved it (1790)
On 01/19/2010 at 2:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML
I agree, your life sucks (6418) - you deserved it (16172)
On 01/01/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by meeranda - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML
I agree, your life sucks (29536) - you deserved it (1607)
On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States
Today, I was walking around in Target with my friends and the guy I've liked for a long time. As we approached the patio section, I sat down on a chair only to hear a big wet watery sound. I got up and realized that I had just sat in some little kid's diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35886) - you deserved it (5815)
On 11/20/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up at 6:00 am to the sound of somebody laying on their horn outside my apartment. I ran outside to yell at them only to find out it was my car. The horn was shortcircuting. All my neighbors stood on their porch laughing as I repeatedly punched my steering wheel to make it stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19321) - you deserved it (3125)
On 11/11/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by carsuck (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got a new job. I'm 26 and I left an amazing job to move back to be around my family. I have no choice but to take this job. I will be placing my finger in a dead turkeys ass, cutting open its stomach, and ripping out its guts. 15 per minute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21207) - you deserved it (7413)
On 11/07/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Monday 17 June 2013
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