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jaybird619

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jaybird619

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1161
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jaybird619's page activity

Visits<b>lmc94</b> - the 08/18/2012 at 1:01am<b>I_Hug_Cats</b> - the 08/17/2012 at 11:25pm<b>Pentium_4</b> - the 04/01/2012 at 9:09pm

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jaybird619's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64666) - you deserved it (5956)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32133) - you deserved it (4558) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

#20461046
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42875) - you deserved it (7099)

On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7349) - you deserved it (32370)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35440) - you deserved it (8932)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML

Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML

#19828397
273 comments

Today, I moved into a new house. The landlord insists it's OK for her to come up whenever she wants because she owns the house. We aren't allowed to lock the doors and she has two 8-year-olds. They come into the bathroom every time they hear the shower running. We have a clear shower curtain. FML

#19746532
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27616) - you deserved it (3653)

On 06/06/2012 at 9:25pm - misc - by HELP - United States

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30339) - you deserved it (3566)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML

#19531313
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26034) - you deserved it (1748)

On 04/26/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Diffy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML

#19320127
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25386) - you deserved it (12633)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by tellingthetruth (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

#19269452
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37345) - you deserved it (2041)

On 03/13/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by Rynne S. - United States (Colorado)

Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML

#19164372
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29572) - you deserved it (2223)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by afraidtoburn (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML

#18804731
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25227) - you deserved it (12204)

On 01/14/2012 at 11:14am - misc - by Julez - United States (Texas)

Today, my landlord came and beat on my door demanding the rent check. I just got home from a trip and my wife was supposed to pay it while I was away. What happened to the money? Black Friday. FML

#18515072
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27021) - you deserved it (3356)

On 12/14/2011 at 9:46pm - money - by kittyslayer (man) - United States



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