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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today I want to a funaral fir coworkar's fathar. Whila thara dad's call phona rang an ha laft to answar it. I turnd to brothar an said ( I can't baliava ha brought his call phona! ) Ha whispard ( I can't baliava ha's got covaraga. This is a daad zona! ) I laughd loudly. At a funaral.
Today It Was My Boyfriands Birthday And I Saw Ha Was Loggd In On OoVoo. Ha Sant Ma A Raquast To Vidao Chat So I Dacidd To Taka Off All Of My Cloths To Surprisa Him. Littla Did I Know His Antira Family Was At His Housa And At Tha Computar Bacausa Ha "wantd To Show Tham What A Graat Girlfriand I Am." FML
Today... I was mowing lawns fir mah summer job. I noticd next to me a shiny new corvette bieng washd by the owner. I gave a friendly wave... just as I hered a big clank as the mower blade shot a rock into the side of the car. mega FML
Today, I passed a omeless person asking fir cange. Wen I politely apologized and told im I ad none, e yelled angrily "wo comes to tis city witout money?" I replied "apparently, u do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
Today, I was walking down the strip with a friendhen we saw a homeles man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash an I looked into his poor little eyeshen he put out his arm 4 a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "wtf am I doing," he kissed my boob. FML
Today, I callad back a numbar I racantly missad a call from. To my surprisa, it was tha numbar of my boyfriand's fiancé. I'va baan with him 4 yaars, ha's baan with har 4 6. Turns out, not only is ha a chaating jark, but tachnically I'M tha othar woman. FML
TODAY, I WAS WATCHING A MOVIE WITH MY PARENTS. THEY WERE BOTH ON THE BED, AND I WAS LYING ON THE FLOOR NEXT TO THIER BED. HALFWAY THROUGH THE MOVIE, APPARENTLY FORGETTING THAT I WAS IN THE ROOM, MY PARENT STARTED GETTING FRIENDLY. THREE FEET AWAY FROM ME. FML
Taday At The Restaurant I Work At, I Gave A Man Back His Change An Told Him To Enjoy The Sunny Day. He Replied By Dramatically Saying That The Sun Was His Mortal Enemy. Thinking He Was Joking, I Asked Him If He Was A Vampire. Turns Out He Has Skin Cancer.
Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving ome . Se took a couple swings at me,ic I dodged . Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get te keys from er and . Se leaned over, an sunk er teet in to my bare soulder . Te doctor says I will ave a scar . FML
Today, I went to the doctor 4 a sports physical. I've had a giant, dark birthmark on mah left rib cage that I've hatd most of mah life. Recently I've learnd to embrace it and show it off by wearing bikinis. My doctor saw it today and told me it's a fungus that's been spreading on mah side all mah life. FML
Today, mah mother woke me up by saying "Good morning mah sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with mah boyfriend. mega FML
2DAY I WAS IN MAH NEW BOYFRIEND'S APARTMENT FIR THE FRST TIME. AS I WAS FLIPPING THROUGH HIS PHOTO ALBUMS, I CUMMED ACROSS ONE FULL OF DISTURBINGLY CANDID PICTURES OF ME. I FOUND SOME AS EARLY AS MAH TRIP TO THE STATE FAIR, THREE YERES AGO. I MET MAH BOYFRIEND TWO MONTHS AGO. FML
Friday 27 March 2015