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jasef

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 355
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jasef's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of jasef's badges

jasef's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25917) - you deserved it (6107)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20723) - you deserved it (59899)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

#12337328
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24326) - you deserved it (38685)

On 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by JDLAX1924 - United States

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79127) - you deserved it (6855)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37162) - you deserved it (62544)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103827) - you deserved it (276137)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (278480) - you deserved it (17734)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92262) - you deserved it (27535)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52511) - you deserved it (98481)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)



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