jap1198

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jap1198

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2132
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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jap1198's page activity

Visits<b>TEZZ</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 12:26pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:59am<b>ch2358</b> - the 10/03/2009 at 11:25am<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 07/15/2009 at 9:35am<b>pyromaniac239</b> - the 06/04/2009 at 12:04pm

jap1198's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jap1198's favorite FMLs

Today, I got asked to Homecoming by the person I really like. I said yes and I was really excited. But my best friend who has liked me since the 6th grade wasn't. He went and broke my date's jaw. FML

by AdriBAMF / 10/17/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize that my neighbor was not having it off, she was actually vacuuming her apartment. It's been so long since I've had sex that I can't even recognize the sound of other people having it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2009 at 10:27pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a group shot with my friends when I asked a stranger to take the picture for us. He backed up and told us to squish closer together, and when he was at least 20 feet away, he turned and ran off with my camera. FML

by jacked / 10/02/2009 at 7:32pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML

by Broly171 / 10/01/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face" while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2009 at 12:38am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML

by ihatelongflights / 08/21/2009 at 12:18pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML

by ihatelongflights / 08/21/2009 at 12:18pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

by slipperyhands / 08/15/2009 at 3:50am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had a job interview and things were going really well until I noticed the woman interviewing me staring at the inside of my elbow. I am recovering from a poison sumac rash, and each spot looks like a puncture wound from a syringe. I was dismissed before the interview was over. FML

by caiti / 08/05/2009 at 9:25pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML

by Angry / 08/04/2009 at 4:21pm / United States / Love

Today, I had to tell my 10 year old son that me and his father are getting a divorce. His reply? "Yes! I call living with dad!" FML

by reckless182 / 07/26/2009 at 11:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2009 at 10:55am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I opened my lunch in front of my friends at university. I had a note in my lunch from my mother that said "Have a good day sweetie! - Love mom". I wrote that note, and put it in my lunch to impress my friends. FML

by sadlife / 07/09/2009 at 2:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I overdraw my account, and I ended up paying an extra 35 bucks for a 1.99 item. It was an application on the iPhone that is supposed to help me keep track of my money. FML

by jedd90 / 07/08/2009 at 10:37am / United States (Texas) / Money