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janujc

Offline (the 11/18/2014 at 8:21pm) | Search for a member

janujc

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  • Number of visits : 1366
  • Number of comments : 1
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janujc's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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janujc's favorite FMLs

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

#21102946
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47940) - you deserved it (5923)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm - kids - by I Have Failed (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, it was a really slow day at work. One thing lead to another, and soon enough we were all taking turns shoving each other across the office on a swivel chair. Our boss came in during my turn, and I got singled out for a verbal warning. Everyone else got off with a disapproving glare. FML

#21084165
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36487) - you deserved it (9183)

On 03/11/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by shonfyr (man) - Spain

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46212) - you deserved it (6780)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

#21060563
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54937) - you deserved it (5248)

On 02/14/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by accident (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

#21033101
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48406) - you deserved it (7546)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22207) - you deserved it (89310)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

#20816798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51049) - you deserved it (10864)

On 08/02/2013 at 9:58am - misc - by YouSoSmelly (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML

#20779957
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27986) - you deserved it (54866)

On 07/13/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by fuck (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

#20775513
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59160) - you deserved it (3665)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by whowhat (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my creepy neighbor paid a guy to install a camera in my bathroom. It's been there for three months. The guy he paid? My brother. FML

#20741960
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52357) - you deserved it (2992)

On 06/23/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by part time all the time - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML

#20740399
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29687) - you deserved it (46743)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

#20736775
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54167) - you deserved it (5364)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:47am - intimacy - by naughtymommy0317 (woman) - United States

Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML

#20703790
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60862) - you deserved it (7628)

On 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by VDM (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML

#20700571
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50430) - you deserved it (6001)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by sleepy momma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43604) - you deserved it (7438)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)



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