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jannahmetcalfe

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jannahmetcalfe
  • Town/Country : Macomb, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 December 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 597
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jannahmetcalfe : Hey people-- ;p I'm Jannah and I love fml
I pole vault and did gymnastics for ten years
I love playing soccer and baseball casually
Pretty chill person so hmu sometime

Email: jannahmetcalfe2@gmail.com

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jannahmetcalfe's favorite FMLs

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

#17438897
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43065) - you deserved it (4551)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

#17381048
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27293) - you deserved it (3480)

On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48879) - you deserved it (9569)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34611) - you deserved it (9282)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34611) - you deserved it (9282)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML

#17104731
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28248) - you deserved it (2155)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
503 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117224) - you deserved it (5933)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I came across the topic of school while chatting. He asked me what high school I went to and where I moved from. I have lived here my whole life, he was my crush for four years, and was in my classes throughout those years. He doesn't believe me. FML

#17085145
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30148) - you deserved it (2581)

On 07/12/2011 at 8:51pm - love - by steph2052 - United States (Washington)

Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML

#17063070
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53038) - you deserved it (2641)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was woken up by my step brother trying to put his tongue in my mouth. FML

#17015904
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60133) - you deserved it (4793)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by lizownsvirgy - United States (California)

Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML

#17013138
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44679) - you deserved it (24290)

On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47055) - you deserved it (14878)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

#16966057
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33858) - you deserved it (5011)

On 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by WasteOMoney - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58183) - you deserved it (7219)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked around for hours with a post-it on my back reading "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML

#16846296
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34268) - you deserved it (7405)

On 06/25/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by suxx - United States (New Jersey)



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