Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jannahmetcalfe

Search for a member

jannahmetcalfe
  • Town/Country : Macomb, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 December 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 576
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jannahmetcalfe : Hey people-- ;p I'm Jannah and I love fml
I pole vault and did gymnastics for ten years
I love playing soccer and baseball casually
Pretty chill person so hmu sometime

Email: jannahmetcalfe2@gmail.com

jannahmetcalfe's last visitors

w4rri0r0void0AugustBurnsToastMarceline_17muffinXmonster

jannahmetcalfe's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of jannahmetcalfe's badges

jannahmetcalfe's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

#18134142
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27054) - you deserved it (13336)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

#18087484
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30514) - you deserved it (7694)

On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34141) - you deserved it (3973)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

#18071770
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28580) - you deserved it (6592)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46812) - you deserved it (14936)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

#17973250
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31394) - you deserved it (8857)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

#17857316
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13101) - you deserved it (38104)

On 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Hypocrisy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

#17743940
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35102) - you deserved it (4804)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80458) - you deserved it (11873)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML

#17677106
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28654) - you deserved it (6007)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by foreseeingabreakup (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

#17657733
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34144) - you deserved it (5081)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by May - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my new college roommate holding his cock. He said "Hi I'm Jeffrey, and this is Jeffrey junior" while directing attention towards his penis. It's going to be a long semester. FML

#17574583
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31404) - you deserved it (2329)

On 08/25/2011 at 1:26am - intimacy - by InAnAwkwardSituation - United States (New York)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24083) - you deserved it (4190)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML

#17512926
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24870) - you deserved it (7302)

On 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by BigmouthStrikesAgain (woman) - United Kingdom



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: