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jannahmetcalfe

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jannahmetcalfe
  • Town/Country : Macomb, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 December 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 586
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jannahmetcalfe : Hey people-- ;p I'm Jannah and I love fml
I pole vault and did gymnastics for ten years
I love playing soccer and baseball casually
Pretty chill person so hmu sometime

Email: jannahmetcalfe2@gmail.com

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jannahmetcalfe's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

#18966700
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26811) - you deserved it (3385)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

#18872810
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31124) - you deserved it (3886)

On 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

#18814667
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24138) - you deserved it (3118) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm - love - by Vitriol (man) - France

Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling good about it until I saw the interviewer. It was a guy I had sex with and never called again. He remembered me too. FML

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

#18704788
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28244) - you deserved it (4698)

On 01/04/2012 at 7:32am - intimacy - by thankzbabe (woman) - United States

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

#18624814
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8061) - you deserved it (33171)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by ;)loganberry(; - United States (Montana)

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

#18586179
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24837) - you deserved it (2310)

On 12/23/2011 at 2:42am - intimacy - by balkangirl94 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML

#18568615
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14251) - you deserved it (19603)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Nicki (woman) - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

#18561391
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15403) - you deserved it (50604)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

#18550622
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36442) - you deserved it (3689)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by lovely (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML

#18542625
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26868) - you deserved it (11849)

On 12/18/2011 at 5:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

#18531722
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28383) - you deserved it (5164)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML

#18496344
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26786) - you deserved it (2287)

On 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm - intimacy - by flowerchildd2 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46344) - you deserved it (7418)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

#18449583
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32728) - you deserved it (6312)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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