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jannahmetcalfe

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jannahmetcalfe

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 December 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 668
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jannahmetcalfe : Hey people-- ;p I'm Jannah and I love fml
I pole vault and did gymnastics for ten years
I love playing soccer and baseball casually
Pretty chill person so hmu sometime

Email: jannahmetcalfe2@gmail.com

jannahmetcalfe's page activity

Visits<b>w4rri0r</b> - the 08/13/2012 at 11:19am<b>0void0</b> - the 08/04/2012 at 2:08pm<b>AugustBurnsToast</b> - the 07/17/2012 at 4:54am<b>Marceline_17</b> - the 07/14/2012 at 7:29pm<b>muffinXmonster</b> - the 07/13/2012 at 12:24am

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jannahmetcalfe's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32871) - you deserved it (5850)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

#19268925
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23291) - you deserved it (7958)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Wow (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

#19243836
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39905) - you deserved it (6856)

On 03/09/2012 at 1:59am - intimacy - by banned - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was complaining of being stressed, so I mentioned having heard that sex relieves a lot of that build up of stress. She replied, "I think I'd rather stay stressed." FML

#19232651
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27473) - you deserved it (7110)

On 03/07/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by RZ (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got more turned on by the idea of sex with my boyfriend than actually doing it. FML

#19219100
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24473) - you deserved it (3655)

On 03/05/2012 at 3:45am - intimacy - by LittleRed (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

#19207829
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32156) - you deserved it (4911)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16487) - you deserved it (43158)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to stop measuring his penis during our conversation. FML

#19173399
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25618) - you deserved it (3785)

On 02/27/2012 at 6:06am - intimacy - by facepalm (woman) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind being loud. Apparently, my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying "Next time, I'll call." FML

#19169657
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29526) - you deserved it (3984)

On 02/26/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by . - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34060) - you deserved it (4982)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML

#19094213
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43203) - you deserved it (2828)

On 02/16/2012 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML

#19094213
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43203) - you deserved it (2828)

On 02/16/2012 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I received an e-mail from my girlfriend's parents telling me that all the dirty e-mails I've been sending to her while she is away have been accessible by the whole family. FML

#19070641
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23845) - you deserved it (11870)

On 02/14/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42035) - you deserved it (9128)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42035) - you deserved it (9128)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)



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