jamjelly386

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jamjelly386

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5710
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jamjelly386's page activity

Visits<b>bolee997</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 2:28am<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 5:50am<b>allie2590</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 4:02am<b>db32</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:05am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 11:41am<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 8:50pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 11:42pm<b>samiel1989</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 3:40pm<b>Protolisk</b> - the 03/20/2011 at 10:53pm<b>bigdurrdy</b> - the 03/18/2011 at 10:49pm<b>Ilovelife07</b> - the 03/18/2011 at 2:12pm<b>LoneArchangel</b> - the 03/18/2011 at 12:40pm<b>noncomposmentis</b> - the 03/17/2011 at 6:50pm<b>Doortje</b> - the 03/16/2011 at 11:47am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 2:48am<b>VenomByte</b> - the 11/08/2010 at 12:29pm

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jamjelly386's favorite FMLs

Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML

by BlootheBawss / 09/03/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

by Harry Dare / 09/02/2011 at 12:31pm / United Kingdom (Walsall) / Love

Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML

by macattack / 09/01/2011 at 10:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

by mannydanny / 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML

by bob / 09/01/2011 at 1:29am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

by MJjunior / 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML

by dck128 / 08/29/2011 at 6:05pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML

by bobin / 08/29/2011 at 1:17pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2011 at 7:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

by f*ckingdisgusted / 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm / United States / Kids

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Health