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jamjelly386

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jamjelly386

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  • Number of visits : 4532
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jamjelly386's page activity

Visits<b>db32</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:05am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 11:41am<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 8:50pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 11:42pm<b>samiel1989</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 3:40pm<b>Protolisk</b> - the 03/20/2011 at 10:53pm<b>bigdurrdy</b> - the 03/18/2011 at 10:49pm<b>Ilovelife07</b> - the 03/18/2011 at 2:12pm<b>LoneArchangel</b> - the 03/18/2011 at 12:40pm<b>noncomposmentis</b> - the 03/17/2011 at 6:50pm<b>Doortje</b> - the 03/16/2011 at 11:47am<b>VenomByte</b> - the 11/08/2010 at 12:29pm

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jamjelly386's favorite FMLs

Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

#17644028
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28465) - you deserved it (3756)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:31pm - love - by Harry Dare - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML

#17639709
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30785) - you deserved it (4168)

On 09/01/2011 at 10:29pm - animals - by macattack (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34802) - you deserved it (4392)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32751) - you deserved it (3642)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML

#17633447
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26921) - you deserved it (1729)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML

#17633195
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28832) - you deserved it (2289)

On 09/01/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by bob - United States

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

#17629318
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40981) - you deserved it (11518)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm - kids - by MJjunior (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30878) - you deserved it (2970)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

#17617939
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27542) - you deserved it (3349)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML

#17614245
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21330) - you deserved it (2555)

On 08/29/2011 at 6:05pm - work - by dck128 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML

#17612364
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28589) - you deserved it (5510)

On 08/29/2011 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by bobin - United States

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

#17603044
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13702) - you deserved it (37650)

On 08/28/2011 at 7:29am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
673 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30085) - you deserved it (49101)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

#17573986
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24225) - you deserved it (2333)

On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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