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jamjelly386

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jamjelly386

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  • Number of visits : 4797
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jamjelly386's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the reason why my therapist was so nice to me all of the time. Apparently, she is afraid that I'm going to stab her if she pisses me off. FML

#17845036
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24022) - you deserved it (5171)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:14am - health - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

#17839732
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38212) - you deserved it (3142)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#17827987
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40641) - you deserved it (3264)

On 09/25/2011 at 6:26am - love - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

#17821676
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12554) - you deserved it (75718)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

#17795601
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45691) - you deserved it (8190)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML

#17790312
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39736) - you deserved it (2283)

On 09/20/2011 at 7:54pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

#17789200
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26899) - you deserved it (35679) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/20/2011 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by Prinpette - France

Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML

#17781306
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13186) - you deserved it (32161)

On 09/19/2011 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55734) - you deserved it (5496)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

#17775098
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22231) - you deserved it (3092)

On 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm - love - by DeadScared (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML

#17773363
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8004) - you deserved it (45250)

On 09/18/2011 at 4:17pm - animals - by shithead (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#17742540
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33335) - you deserved it (3219)

On 09/14/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by jumpedjogger - United States (Georgia)

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

#17734128
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23564) - you deserved it (9431)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I received a rejection letter from a college that I'd applied to 6 years ago. FML

#17734053
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28491) - you deserved it (2173)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got home from work to find my wife asleep in her easy chair with my two year old son asleep in a pile of torn-up paper. I soon found out it was my 1960s collection of a Superman comic book series that I inherited from my dad. It was worth well over $2,000. FML

#17731995
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38613) - you deserved it (4594)

On 09/12/2011 at 10:15pm - kids - by Randy - United States (Alabama)



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