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jamjelly386's favorite FMLs
by Josh / 09/27/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Missouri) / Health
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm / United States / Work
Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
by Anonymous / 09/25/2011 at 6:26am / Singapore / Love
Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML
by essay2 / 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ThisBlows / 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML
by Anonymous / 09/20/2011 at 7:54pm / United States / Health
by Prinpette / 09/20/2011 at 5:20pm / France / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 4:27pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML
by DeadScared / 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by shithead / 09/18/2011 at 4:17pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals
Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML
by jumpedjogger / 09/14/2011 at 4:34am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 1:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got home from work to find my wife asleep in her easy chair with my two year old son asleep in a pile of torn-up paper. I soon found out it was my 1960s collection of a Superman comic book series that I inherited from my dad. It was worth well over $2,000. FML
by Randy / 09/12/2011 at 10:15pm / United States (Alabama) / Kids
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…