jamjelly386

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jamjelly386

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5495
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jamjelly386's page activity

Visits<b>bolee997</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 2:28am<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 5:50am<b>allie2590</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 4:02am<b>db32</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:05am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 11:41am<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 8:50pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 11:42pm<b>samiel1989</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 3:40pm<b>Protolisk</b> - the 03/20/2011 at 10:53pm<b>bigdurrdy</b> - the 03/18/2011 at 10:49pm<b>Ilovelife07</b> - the 03/18/2011 at 2:12pm<b>LoneArchangel</b> - the 03/18/2011 at 12:40pm<b>noncomposmentis</b> - the 03/17/2011 at 6:50pm<b>Doortje</b> - the 03/16/2011 at 11:47am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 2:48am<b>VenomByte</b> - the 11/08/2010 at 12:29pm

jamjelly386's FML badges

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Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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jamjelly386's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML

by blarp / 10/17/2011 at 12:20am / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

by myfamilyisodd / 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

by Ca13b / 10/15/2011 at 3:18am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

by Lauren / 10/12/2011 at 1:55pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML

by thatgirl / 10/10/2011 at 3:16am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from school and found my mother singing along to her latest investment, a compilation CD filled with heavy metal covers of ABBA classics. FML

Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML

by Mike Polk / 10/03/2011 at 8:37am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML

by kewtness_17 / 10/01/2011 at 7:10pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

by FirstStringQB / 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML

by jesus christ / 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm / United States / Kids

Today, my violent housemate qualified for a gun license. She picks up her bolt-action rifle on Wednesday. FML

by Help. / 09/29/2011 at 1:36pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

by Sabraynay / 09/28/2011 at 2:47am / Intimacy

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love