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jamjelly386's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Love
by ThatHurts / 11/13/2011 at 7:11pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
by shootme / 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I was following my friend to her house in my car, because I didn't know where it was. I'd been following her for at least an hour when she pulled into a gas station. Turns out I'd been following the wrong car. I have no idea where I am. FML
by friedchicken / 11/12/2011 at 1:43am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation
by dumbassbuffet / 11/11/2011 at 10:53am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
Today, my young son wanted to rent some movie with talking animals in it for us to watch together. I couldn't say no, but talking animal movies freak me out big time, I either start to cry or feel nauseous. Especially ones with dogs. What is wrong with me? FML
by Pk45 / 11/11/2011 at 10:37am / United Kingdom (Swansea) / Animals
by embarrassed / 11/11/2011 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by devinchi / 11/11/2011 at 3:42am / United States / Health
Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML
by stinkypants / 11/09/2011 at 10:15pm / India / Health
Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML
by kdeeeceee / 11/09/2011 at 12:59am / United States / Love
by lunarstrain / 11/08/2011 at 1:11am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
by hurtsmyears / 11/06/2011 at 8:23pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML
by wellthisisawkward80 / 11/06/2011 at 1:15am / United States / Miscellaneous
by EunJung / 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm / United States / Work
by KayleeXLoVe21 / 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…