Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jamjelly386

Search for a member

jamjelly386

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4611
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jamjelly386's page activity

Visits<b>db32</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:05am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 11:41am<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 8:50pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 11:42pm<b>samiel1989</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 3:40pm<b>Protolisk</b> - the 03/20/2011 at 10:53pm<b>bigdurrdy</b> - the 03/18/2011 at 10:49pm<b>Ilovelife07</b> - the 03/18/2011 at 2:12pm<b>LoneArchangel</b> - the 03/18/2011 at 12:40pm<b>noncomposmentis</b> - the 03/17/2011 at 6:50pm<b>Doortje</b> - the 03/16/2011 at 11:47am<b>VenomByte</b> - the 11/08/2010 at 12:29pm

jamjelly386's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of jamjelly386's badges

jamjelly386's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13130) - you deserved it (41278)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30487) - you deserved it (1913)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

#19411591
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22328) - you deserved it (3858)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:07am - animals - by tessamarque - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36304) - you deserved it (2994)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

#19374662
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21023) - you deserved it (2237)

On 03/30/2012 at 3:45am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

#19284993
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27280) - you deserved it (4904)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by 0stvn0 (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

#19230527
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38822) - you deserved it (2869)

On 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

#19211804
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39697) - you deserved it (27408)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

#19158359
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30246) - you deserved it (2381)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:33am - misc - by BadGuyLuck (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10037) - you deserved it (54394)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML

#19152486
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25490) - you deserved it (5090)

On 02/24/2012 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML

#19149588
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26242) - you deserved it (2086)

On 02/23/2012 at 9:24pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

#19130391
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25616) - you deserved it (8126)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:33am - health - by mary (woman) - Australia

Today, I'm forced to eat half a package of saltine crackers in my room for dinner. I can't go downstairs to the kitchen because my two roommates are going at it on our kitchen table. FML

#19091381
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26739) - you deserved it (3261)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:13am - intimacy - by robzzz (woman) - Canada

Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML

#19085871
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34714) - you deserved it (2479)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - misc - by sharpie2792 - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: