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jamjelly386

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jamjelly386
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4321
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jamjelly386's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10327) - you deserved it (29907)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28874) - you deserved it (1795)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

#19411591
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20596) - you deserved it (3642)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:07am - animals - by tessamarque - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33698) - you deserved it (2758)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

#19374662
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16654) - you deserved it (1634)

On 03/30/2012 at 3:45am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

#19284993
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24581) - you deserved it (4568)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by 0stvn0 (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

#19230527
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34442) - you deserved it (2517)

On 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

#19211804
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38573) - you deserved it (26632)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

#19158359
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26947) - you deserved it (2114)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:33am - misc - by BadGuyLuck (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7515) - you deserved it (40072)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML

#19152486
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21614) - you deserved it (4578)

On 02/24/2012 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML

#19149588
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22703) - you deserved it (1830)

On 02/23/2012 at 9:24pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

#19130391
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24257) - you deserved it (7906)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:33am - health - by mary (woman) - Australia

Today, I'm forced to eat half a package of saltine crackers in my room for dinner. I can't go downstairs to the kitchen because my two roommates are going at it on our kitchen table. FML

#19091381
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23601) - you deserved it (2964)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:13am - intimacy - by robzzz (woman) - Canada

Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML

#19085871
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31610) - you deserved it (2265)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - misc - by sharpie2792 - United States



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