Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jamjelly386

Search for a member

jamjelly386

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5380
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jamjelly386's page activity

Visits<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 5:50am<b>allie2590</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 4:02am<b>db32</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:05am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 11:41am<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 8:50pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 11:42pm<b>samiel1989</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 3:40pm<b>Protolisk</b> - the 03/20/2011 at 10:53pm<b>bigdurrdy</b> - the 03/18/2011 at 10:49pm<b>Ilovelife07</b> - the 03/18/2011 at 2:12pm<b>LoneArchangel</b> - the 03/18/2011 at 12:40pm<b>noncomposmentis</b> - the 03/17/2011 at 6:50pm<b>Doortje</b> - the 03/16/2011 at 11:47am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 2:48am<b>VenomByte</b> - the 11/08/2010 at 12:29pm

jamjelly386's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of jamjelly386's badges

jamjelly386's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15088) - you deserved it (45497)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34769) - you deserved it (2210)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

#19411591
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25944) - you deserved it (4290)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:07am - animals - by tessamarque - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40747) - you deserved it (3379)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

#19374662
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24605) - you deserved it (2583)

On 03/30/2012 at 3:45am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

#19284993
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31622) - you deserved it (5404)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by 0stvn0 (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

#19230527
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43081) - you deserved it (3206)

On 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

#19211804
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43886) - you deserved it (30036)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

#19158359
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34063) - you deserved it (2685)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:33am - misc - by BadGuyLuck (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12068) - you deserved it (58890)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML

#19152486
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29228) - you deserved it (5561)

On 02/24/2012 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML

#19149588
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29865) - you deserved it (2359)

On 02/23/2012 at 9:24pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

#19130391
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29266) - you deserved it (8749)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:33am - health - by mary (woman) - Australia

Today, I'm forced to eat half a package of saltine crackers in my room for dinner. I can't go downstairs to the kitchen because my two roommates are going at it on our kitchen table. FML

#19091381
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30821) - you deserved it (3652)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:13am - intimacy - by robzzz (woman) - Canada

Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML

#19085871
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39048) - you deserved it (2809)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - misc - by sharpie2792 - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: