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jamjelly386's favorite FMLs
by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work
by tessamarque / 04/05/2012 at 11:07am / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals
by displeased / 04/05/2012 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/30/2012 at 3:45am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML
by 0stvn0 / 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML
by Autocorrected / 03/04/2012 at 12:02am / Philippines (Bulacan) / Love
Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML
by BadGuyLuck / 02/25/2012 at 1:33am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML
by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 7:30am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/23/2012 at 9:24pm / United States / Health
by mary / 02/21/2012 at 10:33am / Australia / Health
by robzzz / 02/16/2012 at 2:13am / Canada / Intimacy
by sharpie2792 / 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I reminded my husband that I was on my period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A… Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the… Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me…