jamesheat11

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jamesheat11

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 659
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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jamesheat11's page activity

Visits<b>Carysimmo</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 1:14pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 12:46pm<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:49am<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 2:38am<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 1:12am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 11:08pm<b>rylan_28</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 2:55am<b>koganti</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 4:20am<b>PatriciaAra</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 5:27pm<b>CanadiAnM8</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 9:39am<b>errrrrrin</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 8:27pm<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 8:48pm<b>NGeniuzz</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:46pm<b>pineapples</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 10:28pm<b>Earthdforce</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:15pm<b>aizai97</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 7:25am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 10:30pm<b>death_metal</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 12:18am

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jamesheat11's favorite FMLs

Today, my 8-year-old came home from school crying. Apparently her teacher told the whole class to write about how they felt when they learned that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. FML

by SantaClaus / 11/02/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, the girl I like sent me a nude photo of herself. Being a photographer, all I could think about was how grainy the photo was, and the various ways it could be fixed. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 7:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

by chestycough / 09/16/2013 at 12:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

by Abrams52 / 05/28/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML

by belle_arina / 10/08/2009 at 1:05am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

by uh-oh / 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2009 at 9:53am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML

by oops / 04/05/2009 at 1:20am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

by ohshittttttt / 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

by nomorebeard / 03/25/2009 at 10:13am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML

by unloved / 03/23/2009 at 2:34pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

by tryena / 02/28/2009 at 5:59am / United States (Idaho) / Kids