Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jakiya_23

Search for a member

jakiya_23

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 251
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jakiya_23's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jakiya_23's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to stand by my toaster and train myself to not jump when it popped up. Not only did I jump, I also knocked the toaster off the counter and onto my toes. FML

#19998464
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12662) - you deserved it (19244)

On 08/02/2012 at 1:32pm - misc - by purplexangel (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from my manager saying that I won't need to work this weekend. Too bad I already cancelled a family vacation because he threatened to fire me if I didn't work this weekend. FML

#19998359
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23746) - you deserved it (1367)

On 08/02/2012 at 12:22pm - work - by Pizzaguy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my daughter discovered that her Venus Fly Trap will not eat pieces of ripped-up scrap paper. Also today, I discovered that my daughter can't tell the difference between scrap paper and my monthly paycheck. FML

#19998217
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26840) - you deserved it (2503)

On 08/02/2012 at 10:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my daughter discovered that her Venus Fly Trap will not eat pieces of ripped-up scrap paper. Also today, I discovered that my daughter can't tell the difference between scrap paper and my monthly paycheck. FML

#19998217
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26840) - you deserved it (2503)

On 08/02/2012 at 10:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML

#19997949
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26774) - you deserved it (2687)

On 08/02/2012 at 4:11am - love - by Kelly - United States (California)

Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML

#19997834
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22013) - you deserved it (16945)

On 08/02/2012 at 2:53am - money - by busted - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was fired from my job. My boss turned to everyone and said, "Allow me to escort this trash out of the office." Everyone cheered. FML

#19997829
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13576) - you deserved it (30726)

On 08/02/2012 at 2:50am - work - by Unwanted - United States (California)

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

#19997087
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22340) - you deserved it (2126)

On 08/01/2012 at 8:06pm - love - by daddydaughterWTF - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML

#19997037
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21665) - you deserved it (15043)

On 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to do the laundry at my hotel. I had just enough money for my two loads. After getting frustrated with the washer taking two of my quarters and giving no credit, I took the clothes out. The washer then locked the door shut and started without my clothes. FML

#19996404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (4129)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:44pm - misc - by jessmess (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I drove 45 minutes to take my full driver's test. At the end of the test, the instructor told me I'd done everything perfectly, but had failed before I left the parking lot. I didn't see the "one way" sign at the entrance. FML

#19996379
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20091) - you deserved it (8308)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:20pm - misc - by unlicensed - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML

#19995981
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25997) - you deserved it (2529)

On 08/01/2012 at 3:59am - misc - by SLAB_GIRL15 - Australia (New South Wales)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: