About jacobsnowboard : Snowboarding and golf are my life!
jacobsnowboard's FML badges
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
jacobsnowboard's favorite FMLs
Today, I invited my girlfriend over to a family lunch, planning to propose to her at just the right moment. My family was in on it, including my apparently disapproving mom, who kept causing a scene to grab my girlfriend's attention every time I went to pull out the ring. FML
by jake / 08/12/2012 at 11:49am / United States (Oregon) / Love
by Badkitty14 / 08/09/2012 at 4:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML
by feelsterrible / 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Lara / 08/03/2012 at 7:28am / Italy (Toscana) / Miscellaneous
Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down my leg. I started shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. Then I realized there was a hole in my pocket and some quarters had slid out down my leg. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 11:41am / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by tuggernuts / 07/17/2012 at 11:32am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by scooter922 / 07/15/2012 at 3:45am / United States (Maryland) / Health
by kerensa / 07/15/2012 at 1:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML
by oops / 07/15/2012 at 1:34am / United States / Intimacy
by RIP / 07/15/2012 at 1:02am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by anidiotskeeper / 07/12/2012 at 2:03am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/11/2012 at 1:29am / United States (Texas) / Work
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…
- Today, after many years of not going out with friends because I'm so self conscious about my acne.… Today, my dad accused me of using various types of drugs, and that I will never achieve anything in… Today, as i was wrestling my girlfriend, i had told her I'd go really easy on her because i did not…