jacobsnowboard

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jacobsnowboard

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1042
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jacobsnowboard : Snowboarding and golf are my life!

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jacobsnowboard's favorite FMLs

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

by iNearlyHurled / 09/28/2012 at 4:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

by bacon lovers worst nightmare / 09/26/2012 at 2:57am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a pizza order at work, and had to ask the customer's name. I couldn't quite hear what he said, so rather than asking him to repeat himself, I asked how it was spelled. He gave me a funny look and said, "Um, A.J.?" FML

by martinaaah / 09/24/2012 at 3:35pm / United States (Washington) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while at work, I helped my ex-husband pick out a ring for the girl he cheated on me with. FML

by Sad ex-wife / 09/21/2012 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Love

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

by myself / 09/20/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML

by thanksfamily / 09/18/2012 at 7:22am / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I found out that, for over three years, my boyfriend has solely been dating me to get closer to my mom. Apparently, "she's a total MILF." FML

by daughter / 09/18/2012 at 12:25am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Love

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

by Derp McShitstain / 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Health

Today, for the first time in a week, a customer entered my store. He needed to use the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2012 at 9:29pm / United States / Work

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2012 at 7:36am / United States (Delaware) / Health

Today, I was late for class. I have extreme social anxiety, so I quietly slipped into the huge, packed auditiorium, trying to be as quiet as possible. When I was almost to my seat, I accidentally kicked a teacher's coffee down the steps. The entire class looked at me and clapped. FML

by conspicuous / 09/12/2012 at 4:11pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML

by hahagirl / 09/12/2012 at 1:40am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

by TheBeautifulOne / 08/23/2012 at 9:42am / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was drawing while on the train, when a very good-looking woman looked at my work and said, "Wow, she's pretty. Is it supposed to be me?" She said it in a flirty tone, but before I could stop myself, I'd said "nah, it's just a generic face". FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 1:41pm / United States / Love