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jacobsnowboard

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jacobsnowboard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 700
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jacobsnowboard : Snowboarding and golf are my life!

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jacobsnowboard's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML

#20718168
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74035) - you deserved it (3676)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:35pm - misc - by Upset (woman) - United States

Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML

#20717445
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54762) - you deserved it (5344)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by wellthanks (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56928) - you deserved it (9859)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML

#20712154
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18960) - you deserved it (106651)

On 06/07/2013 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83360) - you deserved it (7975)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I had to walk home in the rain because my mom didn't want to get her new car wet. FML

#20705347
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56637) - you deserved it (3647)

On 06/04/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

#20705144
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76531) - you deserved it (3645)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:35am - health - by irishbubble (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67948) - you deserved it (4143)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

#20696326
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44657) - you deserved it (2936)

On 05/30/2013 at 10:35pm - work - by heyyoitsapotato - United States

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

#20695090
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47128) - you deserved it (3908)

On 05/30/2013 at 11:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML

#20692668
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65777) - you deserved it (3576)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by :) - United States

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

#20692661
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63481) - you deserved it (13978)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML

#20681698
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46019) - you deserved it (2714)

On 05/23/2013 at 12:40pm - love - by a single fuck (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

#20672414
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48315) - you deserved it (4421)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States

Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML

#20669248
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41647) - you deserved it (11836)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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