About jackiemonster : in ruins. & seventeen.
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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
It’s in the can
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jackiemonster's favorite FMLs
by ShadowJack / 04/29/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML
by thatswhatsup66 / 03/20/2012 at 3:01pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML
by BBFreak97 / 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got my braces put on. This is the second time I've had them. The first time was after my cousin opened a car door in my face. This time a jock punched me in the mouth for saying that Reese's taste the same as Snickers peanut butter. FML
by braceface / 03/14/2012 at 4:12pm / United States / Health
Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML
by S. Michaels / 03/14/2012 at 11:17am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML
by Autocorrected / 03/04/2012 at 12:02am / Philippines (Bulacan) / Love
by Paicked / 01/25/2012 at 7:33am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by ???? / 01/25/2012 at 1:32am / United States / Health
by dragonmirado / 01/25/2012 at 1:23am / China / Miscellaneous
Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML
by Reliena / 01/21/2012 at 12:47am / United States (Washington) / Love
by Nate / 01/12/2012 at 12:36am / United States / Love
Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML
by hannaaaahr / 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Health
by NJ <3 / 01/10/2012 at 10:34am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML
by fuckparents / 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by catlady / 01/09/2012 at 11:56am / United Kingdom (Bexley) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't… Today, I realized I get more pleasure from a tampon than my boyfriend I have been having sex with… Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This…