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jackie195's favorite FMLs
by jemila / 05/31/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by 97 / 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Voltron / 01/10/2012 at 7:37pm / United States / Money
Today, I heard my alarm go off, dragged myself out of bed, had breakfast and got ready for work. As I was heading out the door I checked the time again. It was 1:41 AM. Apparently my alarm never actually went off. FML
by 2285morgan / 12/15/2011 at 3:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
by toni405 / 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm / United States / Love
by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health
Today, I have a busy day of college work ahead of me. I figured I'd best have a good breakfast. Then I realised I'd completely ran out of food except for various types of sauces and condiments. So what am I having for breakfast today? That's right. A nice cup of Gravy. FML
by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 2:24am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Miscellaneous
by Nancy / 03/10/2010 at 1:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I worried I'd broken something, and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the settings for an hour before calling my sister in to help. She looked at it for two seconds, then unplugged my headphones. FML
by Anonymous / 01/27/2010 at 1:09pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML
by Few_Absolutes / 10/12/2009 at 2:10pm / United States (Maryland) / Health
Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML
by Alice / 08/01/2009 at 4:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML
by Pottymouth / 07/25/2009 at 1:14pm / United States / Money
Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML
by unluckycounsellor / 06/30/2009 at 7:26pm / Bermuda (Hamilton) / Kids
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana…
- Today, it has been a week since I moved into my new house. Turns out that the previous owner of the… Today, our air conditioner went out. Trying to stay cool, I used an ice pack from when I sprained… Today, I woke up to my head being covered by a pissy diaper, a pile of pee not even an inch from my…