About jacetopia96 : My name is Jason and I think that FML is probably the best time killer. Love that they have an app for my iPod Touch.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29453) - you deserved it (5138)
Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16418) - you deserved it (5007)
On 06/05/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Damn (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to break up with her. It was a hard decision and both of us became quite emotionally overwhelmed at the time. We began to hug as a final goodbye, then her mum burst in the room and yelled, "HE FINALLY PROPOSED!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29354) - you deserved it (2414)
On 06/03/2012 at 10:21am - love - by Matt - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23871) - you deserved it (3473)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17821) - you deserved it (3332)
On 04/05/2012 at 11:07am - animals - by tessamarque - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I went to McDonalds and ordered a happy meal with a girl's toy. The high school girls behind the counter said I was too old to be served one, and I had to go home and explain to my sick daughter why she didn't get her toy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32210) - you deserved it (3293)
On 04/03/2012 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16691) - you deserved it (18001)
On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I started speaking gibberish in the middle of the conversation with my mom to see if she would notice. She didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18285) - you deserved it (1885)
On 02/15/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18327) - you deserved it (2004)
On 02/14/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Just_Me_88 (woman) - United States
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25991) - you deserved it (5434)
On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31120) - you deserved it (7484)
On 02/13/2012 at 1:00am - love - by Kevin (man) - United States
Today, I attended an elderly man's funeral. As I approached the casket his wife said, "Thank you for coming." I replied with, "No, thank you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8143) - you deserved it (21680)
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10856) - you deserved it (31301)
On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26540) - you deserved it (1536)
On 01/03/2012 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my brother and I proposed to our girlfriends at the same time. We had perfect synchronization after practicing for days. My brother's girlfriend said yes, mine said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42823) - you deserved it (3760)
On 12/19/2011 at 10:40am - love - by emmmbo - Australia (Western Australia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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