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jacetopia96

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jacetopia96
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 September 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1382
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About jacetopia96 : My name is Jason and I think that FML is probably the best time killer. Love that they have an app for my iPod Touch.

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jacetopia96's favorite FMLs

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

#19743527
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33934) - you deserved it (5623)

On 06/06/2012 at 10:19am - misc - by Bishop (man) -

Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML

#19739017
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21627) - you deserved it (6844)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Damn (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to break up with her. It was a hard decision and both of us became quite emotionally overwhelmed at the time. We began to hug as a final goodbye, then her mum burst in the room and yelled, "HE FINALLY PROPOSED!" FML

#19725965
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35157) - you deserved it (3262)

On 06/03/2012 at 10:21am - love - by Matt - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

#19586113
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27524) - you deserved it (4462)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

#19411591
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20585) - you deserved it (3642)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:07am - animals - by tessamarque - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to McDonalds and ordered a happy meal with a girl's toy. The high school girls behind the counter said I was too old to be served one, and I had to go home and explain to my sick daughter why she didn't get her toy. FML

#19401139
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37123) - you deserved it (4353)

On 04/03/2012 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17093) - you deserved it (18488)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I started speaking gibberish in the middle of the conversation with my mom to see if she would notice. She didn't. FML

#19088881
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19775) - you deserved it (2297)

On 02/15/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML

#19071061
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18810) - you deserved it (2034)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Just_Me_88 (woman) - United States

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29548) - you deserved it (5826)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

#19062488
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31804) - you deserved it (7559)

On 02/13/2012 at 1:00am - love - by Kevin (man) - United States

Today, I attended an elderly man's funeral. As I approached the casket his wife said, "Thank you for coming." I replied with, "No, thank you." FML

#18903193
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9018) - you deserved it (24051)

On 01/24/2012 at 10:40pm - misc - by me - Canada

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

#18778372
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13177) - you deserved it (41616)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML

#18692571
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31006) - you deserved it (2104)

On 01/03/2012 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my brother and I proposed to our girlfriends at the same time. We had perfect synchronization after practicing for days. My brother's girlfriend said yes, mine said no. FML

#18552373
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44449) - you deserved it (4397)

On 12/19/2011 at 10:40am - love - by emmmbo - Australia (Western Australia)



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