Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

j_cat187

Offline (20 hours ago) | Search for a member

j_cat187

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3241
  • Number of comments : 2260
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About j_cat187 : Cal poly or bust! Or perhaps sandwiches with bacon.

j_cat187's page activity

Visits<b>SingingWolf</b> - yesterday at 11:48pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:09pm<b>AFaye3964</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 3:16pm<b>xxrogerthatxx</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 1:33pm<b>LivClaire96</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:30pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:59am<b>HCAnimeLover</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:24pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 6:40am<b>Mindset</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 4:11am<b>madmoony</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 1:49am<b>LOVELEIGH2112</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 4:53am<b>kandee_bc</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 3:38pm<b>Space_Teddy</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 3:26pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 11:44am<b>martin8337</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 12:32am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 2:15pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 8:55am<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:07pm

j_cat187's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of j_cat187's badges

j_cat187's favorite FMLs

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

#16064729
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28581) - you deserved it (6546)

On 05/06/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by goinginsane -

Today, I realized the only reason I chose to lose weight is that I can never cross the crosswalk fast enough. FML

#16033229
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13450) - you deserved it (30302)

On 05/03/2011 at 3:51pm - health - by Username - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother and his steel-capped boots easily found me in the dark. FML

#16005260
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23833) - you deserved it (3386)

On 05/01/2011 at 2:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Southland)

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

#15978808
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17114) - you deserved it (51433)

On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, the only person who wished me a happy birthday is the policeman who checked my identity card for being "suspiciously gangster-like". FML

#15976359
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33761) - you deserved it (5225)

On 04/29/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by Jims (man) - Singapore

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12767) - you deserved it (38630)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. The day before, I was too anxious to eat anything, so I went in with an empty stomach. There were complications during the extraction and now I'm not allowed to eat for the next 24 hours. FML

#15873960
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29605) - you deserved it (8901)

On 04/21/2011 at 2:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I went shopping for a nice outfit to wear for a job interview. A fake job interview. One that I just made up so my mother would get off my case about finding a job. I don't know which is sadder, the fact that I can't get a job, or that my mother actually believed me about the interview. FML

#15855932
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9041) - you deserved it (33943)

On 04/20/2011 at 5:27am - work - by oh hey there -

Today, I finally got the courage to talk to a guy I secretly like. I was so nervous that instead of saying, "Hi, I'm Veronica," I said, "Veronica, I'm high." FML

#15851636
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31849) - you deserved it (7603)

On 04/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

#15817034
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42333) - you deserved it (8251)

On 04/17/2011 at 1:56am - intimacy - by rastafarimon (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17658) - you deserved it (36417)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

#15555726
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38347) - you deserved it (9427)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69059) - you deserved it (9544)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54418) - you deserved it (27352)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML

#15431141
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12913) - you deserved it (47350)

On 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm - misc - by FailedSniper (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: