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j_cat187

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j_cat187
  • Town/Country : La, Usa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2815
  • Number of comments : 2236
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About j_cat187 : Cal poly or bust! Or perhaps sandwiches with bacon.

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j_cat187's favorite FMLs

Today, my license to carry a gun expired because my manager forgot to renew it. As I'm an armored car guard, this is a problem. In order to keep getting hours, my company transferred me to the coin vault. I just finished moving 15000 lbs of boxed coins. By hand. I'm stuck doing this for a month. FML

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

#17655668
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20146) - you deserved it (27807)

On 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by SterlingSilver91 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31368) - you deserved it (3516)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

#17627685
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14468) - you deserved it (50678)

On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML

#17558329
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8483) - you deserved it (43192)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by Kendal - Canada (Ontario)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30019) - you deserved it (8708)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

#17460856
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24624) - you deserved it (5218)

On 08/13/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML

#17448755
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28902) - you deserved it (2547)

On 08/12/2011 at 9:14am - kids - by LuckySperm (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML

#17415009
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26323) - you deserved it (2318)

On 08/09/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by OyGeeze28 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML

#17403916
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35174) - you deserved it (6503)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by ApparentDrugAddict (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
527 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17687) - you deserved it (48494)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#17017856
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51654) - you deserved it (2984)

On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe lights on and music blasting. He was by himself and had absolutely nothing on. FML

#16978964
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25462) - you deserved it (3522)

On 07/04/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by danam - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML

#16932520
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28762) - you deserved it (3286)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by ugh annoying - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML

#16871149
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19951) - you deserved it (31790)

On 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by kaplwv116 - United States (Illinois)



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