About j_cat187 : As a gun owner, I will not be demonized or blamed for Sandy Hook.
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Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24576) - you deserved it (6910)
On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa
Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56550) - you deserved it (2318)
On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)
Today, my license to carry a gun expired because my manager forgot to renew it. As I'm an armored car guard, this is a problem. In order to keep getting hours, my company transferred me to the coin vault. I just finished moving 15000 lbs of boxed coins. By hand. I'm stuck doing this for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18780) - you deserved it (1893)
Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19684) - you deserved it (27192)
On 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by SterlingSilver91 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26799) - you deserved it (2671)
On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12554) - you deserved it (38888)
On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7057) - you deserved it (31846)
On 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by Kendal - Canada (Ontario)
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28879) - you deserved it (8537)
On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23718) - you deserved it (5125)
On 08/13/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25467) - you deserved it (1924)
On 08/12/2011 at 9:14am - kids - by LuckySperm (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25651) - you deserved it (2278)
On 08/09/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by OyGeeze28 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30747) - you deserved it (5122)
On 08/08/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by ApparentDrugAddict (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16525) - you deserved it (39251)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States
Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45714) - you deserved it (2289)
On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe lights on and music blasting. He was by himself and had absolutely nothing on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22762) - you deserved it (2839)
On 07/04/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by danam - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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