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j424

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j424
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2505
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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j424's favorite FMLs

Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML

#5938925
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8446) - you deserved it (28859)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:19am - animals - by munckncruncj15 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I started feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to soothe it with some Ramen, which helped for a while. Later on, I felt worse and threw up the soup. Noodles came out of my nose. FML

#5927953
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29517) - you deserved it (6217)

On 10/21/2009 at 12:40pm - health - by Rayvyn (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my math teacher decided to use my acne as an example of symmetry in front of the whole class. FML

#5924929
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45382) - you deserved it (2731)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:59am - health - by acneface (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, it was Homecoming. During the dance, I saw this mentally handicapped guy ask this pretty girl to dance. She said no. So I went over to him and asked him to dance. He replied that he only wanted to dance with "pretty girls" and I was not one. FML

#5877463
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46474) - you deserved it (4745)

On 10/18/2009 at 11:32am - misc - by omgwtf (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84245) - you deserved it (13914)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend called me and told me he wanted me to stay the night. I decided to wear my sexiest outfit for him so I put on my kinky nurse outfit and drove over to his house. I let myself in his front door, to which I found 40 of my closest friends staring at me for my surprise birthday party. FML

#5762164
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31209) - you deserved it (18172)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by perfectmoment - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the disgruntled ex-boyfriend of a woman who lives three floors down from me slashed her tires for breaking up with him. He also, for good measure, slashed the tires of the person parked to the left and right of her. I was parked to the right of her. FML

#5743419
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31498) - you deserved it (1712)

On 10/09/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by sofked (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the disgruntled ex-boyfriend of a woman who lives three floors down from me slashed her tires for breaking up with him. He also, for good measure, slashed the tires of the person parked to the left and right of her. I was parked to the right of her. FML

#5743419
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31498) - you deserved it (1712)

On 10/09/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by sofked (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I showed my boyfriend the new tattoo of a butterfly that I'd gotten on my lower back. He said, "It looks like it's flying when your rolls jiggle." FML

#5688481
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11910) - you deserved it (35462)

On 10/06/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by lovebigmacs (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my navy boyfriend, who's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After searching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML

#5438718
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36536) - you deserved it (2577)

On 09/23/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by Spatch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a fish bowl and a fish for $15. I brought him home and sat him on my desk. Everything was going well until the shelf gave out and his bowl slid off of the shelf... onto my $2,000 computer. The computer is fried and is not covered by the insurance, the fish is fine. FML

#5430924
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27124) - you deserved it (7749)

On 09/23/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by Bubba (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, at a bus stop my friend told me that he loved me. I, reacting on impulse, told him how long I've wanted to hear him say that, and kissed him. Then I realised the look on his face. Turns out he'd said 'I need new shoes' not 'I love you.' FML

#5425819
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19301) - you deserved it (40804)

On 09/23/2009 at 10:10am - love - by Lifes_overated (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML

#5419115
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35977) - you deserved it (2532)

On 09/22/2009 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was studying for a test at a coffee shop. A guy walked up, slapped the coffee out of my hand, and punched me in the face for hooking up with his girlfriend on the weekend. Not only was I out of town this weekend, but my $250 textbook is ruined, and I failed the test. FML

#5413663
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42918) - you deserved it (3116)

On 09/22/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by in.need.of.job (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was going to take my boyfriend to Napa. It's my birthday and I wanted to do something big since last year my fiancée called off the wedding. My boyfriend just broke up with me because I'm "clearly not over" my ex. This makes two consecutive birthdays alone in romantic hotels I paid for. FML

#5413362
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33797) - you deserved it (4905)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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