About izzybd : My name is Isabelle. I am a dedicated music lover and musician.
I play guitar/piano and I am a singer :)
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26756) - you deserved it (1443)
On 01/26/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by newniece (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8122) - you deserved it (26604)
On 01/12/2010 at 5:26am - love - by awkward23 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13787) - you deserved it (4339)
On 01/09/2010 at 8:25am - intimacy - by ohdeargodthatswrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20970) - you deserved it (24240)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18643) - you deserved it (2402)
On 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by Lovergirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20685) - you deserved it (2127)
On 01/01/2010 at 8:03am - animals - by grosssss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6253) - you deserved it (30691)
On 12/22/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by funyfunkid (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20547) - you deserved it (5202)
On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4524) - you deserved it (30420)
On 12/12/2009 at 3:36pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17853) - you deserved it (8208)
On 12/06/2009 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Ballhugger (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out that just because you're drunk, it doesn't make it okay to call your mother-in-law a fat slag. However, it does make it okay for your wife to knee you in the snow globes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4438) - you deserved it (29362)
On 12/04/2009 at 12:33pm - love - by mainlaw (man) - Ireland (Wexford)
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18595) - you deserved it (7362)
On 11/06/2009 at 6:37pm - health - by jellybean (woman) - United States
Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35200) - you deserved it (3407)
On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version
Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17081) - you deserved it (3237)
On 09/30/2009 at 4:28am - intimacy - by homersgirl (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53918) - you deserved it (2057)
On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
