Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

izzybd

Offline (the 12/18/2014 at 3:45am) | Search for a member

izzybd

0Liked!

izzybdizzybd
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 June 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3240
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About izzybd : My name is Isabelle. I am a dedicated music lover and musician.

I play guitar/piano and I am a singer :)

izzybd's page activity

Visits<b>cokeman666</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 7:27am<b>bearkoda</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 5:00am<b>websraaa</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 5:21am<b>bmba94</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 3:56pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 4:32am<b>Demonface54</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 11:42am<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 9:26am<b>OlChickenBeard</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 9:39pm<b>Chocherz</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 10:16pm<b>tiptoe55</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:46am<b>423</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 8:02pm<b>bananasandbutts</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:51pm<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 6:53pm<b>dEnVeRkUsH</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 10:48am<b>fml85483</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 11:25pm<b>jellybeens</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 6:52pm<b>Bluebl4ze</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:40am<b>adameeo</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 3:24pm

izzybd's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of izzybd's badges

izzybd's favorite FMLs

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (460) - you deserved it (18967)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37922) - you deserved it (5520)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

#21070515
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43967) - you deserved it (6215)

On 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Author (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML

#21062623
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22266) - you deserved it (39357)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by extra crispy or original recipe (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband cracked a "rectum? damn near killed him" joke at my grandfather's funeral. He had genuinely spoken without thinking, but his quick gasp and "Oh shit" sounded quite sarcastic. We were both kicked out. My family thinks I put him up to the whole thing. FML

#21062405
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38304) - you deserved it (4282)

On 02/16/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by shanti (woman) -

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52571) - you deserved it (7842)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I opened up a snapchat from my best friend. I received a full and detailed view of her and her boyfriend having sex. All I wanted to know was how her Valentine's Day dinner went. FML

#21060866
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50506) - you deserved it (8812)

On 02/14/2014 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by waymoreiwanted (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML

#21060478
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26233) - you deserved it (32207)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his chest. He was so worried about catching shit from the guys on his swim team that he dislocated my jaw trying to get me off him. FML

Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML

#21050316
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36831) - you deserved it (3225)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:55pm - health - by even axe would smell better (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40156) - you deserved it (7710)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, like every day since I was born, my name is Yarenis, pronounced "ja-ra-nees. For some reason, everybody pronounce it "your anus". FML

#21003362
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39256) - you deserved it (5394)

On 12/24/2013 at 5:45am - misc - by yarenis - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

#20989324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50658) - you deserved it (8023)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44068) - you deserved it (5353)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: