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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 January 1982 (33 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5978
  • Number of comments : 1698
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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iwadasn's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36835) - you deserved it (3098)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44767) - you deserved it (3865)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by RBEE (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He was quiet, I heard barking in the background. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43558) - you deserved it (4757)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:20pm - love - by WoofWoof (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32886) - you deserved it (2618)

On 11/09/2009 at 1:42pm - misc - by tampondealer (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was doing my paper route. I throw the papers onto people's driveways while sitting on the back of my dad's truck. To be funny my dad decided to suddenly speed up, causing me to fall off the back of the truck, face first onto the road. He didn't realize I fell off and kept driving. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34347) - you deserved it (4089)

On 11/05/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by Xero_316 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11042) - you deserved it (54633)

On 10/29/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by TrueScotsman (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I heard my newly divorced parents fighting about who gets to keep me. Neither of them want me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (62317) - you deserved it (3966)

On 10/19/2009 at 7:50am - misc - by cc10 (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I told my 13 year old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42738) - you deserved it (8279)

On 10/18/2009 at 10:33pm - kids - by MGZ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML


I agree, your life sucks (80044) - you deserved it (5932)

On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34847) - you deserved it (3808)

On 09/24/2009 at 7:25am - misc - by rubber_duckie177 (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML


I agree, your life sucks (49645) - you deserved it (16143)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. As I left his house and began to drive away, I see him chasing after my car barefoot. I stop and roll down the window, ready to listen to the speech he has prepared to win me over with. He takes a moment to catch his breath and says "I want my cellphone back". FML


I agree, your life sucks (11771) - you deserved it (60242)

On 07/19/2009 at 2:45am - love - by DramaQueen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML


I agree, your life sucks (70464) - you deserved it (5318)

On 07/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking around town with the girl I have loved for four years and have been 100% faithful to. A girl thought it would be funny to approach me and pretend she was the girl I was seeing, and that I was cheating on her. My girlfriend believed her and broke up with me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (80957) - you deserved it (4380)

On 07/05/2009 at 1:59am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend's friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn't tell her the cute girl was my three years old niece. I lost a tooth because of that punch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (94645) - you deserved it (5339)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:36am - love - by GotPunched (man) - Finland (Western Finland)

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  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

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