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Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML
I agree, your life sucks (942) - you totally deserved it (510)
On 03/15/2010 at 5:14am - intimacy - by shygurl434 - United States (Alaska)
Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML
I agree, your life sucks (13236) - you totally deserved it (3092)
On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I thought I lost my wallet. Canceled my bank cards. Bought a new wallet. Got a $141 parking fine at the motor registry while getting my replacement license which also cost me $22. Went to go to the gym and when I went to put my bike jacket on, felt something inside the sleeve. My wallet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3202) - you totally deserved it (11840)
On 03/12/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14987) - you totally deserved it (1464)
On 03/12/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by ugh - United States
Today, I was using my fiance's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discrete intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18355) - you totally deserved it (1319)
On 03/09/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Teeny (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was babysitting. Being kind, I went to grab their mail, while their 4 year old ate lunch. He locked me out, wrecked the house, and let me in right when he saw their car two hours later. I didn't get paid. I paid them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11749) - you totally deserved it (4346)
On 03/09/2010 at 12:19pm - kids - by lockedoutbabysitter (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my roommate confronted me about my eating disorder. She described in length how emaciated-looking my chest has become and how she only wants to help. Except that I don't have an eating disorder. My sternum is deformed and I have only recently become confident enough to wear low-cut tops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18320) - you totally deserved it (823)
On 03/09/2010 at 3:57am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for this sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14959) - you totally deserved it (1004)
On 03/09/2010 at 1:31am - misc - by CreepedOut (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my science class had a substitute teacher. When she started doing roll call and called out my name, she wouldn't believe that a girl could be named Devon, and accused me of covering for another student. I was given detention, and my parents were called and told about my "disruptive behaviour". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17091) - you totally deserved it (906)
On 03/08/2010 at 1:37pm - misc - by Devon (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out my husband of 10 years has a online blog. Excited to read about myself, I began skimming, only to find out that every entry is him explaining how he let his "soulmate" walk away 9 years ago because of his "previous commitment" and how he regrets it every day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18044) - you totally deserved it (1283)
On 03/08/2010 at 12:14am - love - by smashleighfig - Sent from a mobile version
Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9675) - you totally deserved it (956)
On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I got on an empty tram and decided to sit at the back. A few minutes in I start to hear a noise and thinking it was the tram, decided to ignore it. When I heard what sounded like an evil giggle, I looked around to see that it wasn't the tram, but it was some creepy middle aged man taking photos of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12969) - you totally deserved it (842)
On 03/07/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by tramrider - United Kingdom (Greater London)
Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8760) - you totally deserved it (17022)
On 03/07/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by choldcreations - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3060) - you totally deserved it (1182)
On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19610) - you totally deserved it (878)
On 03/07/2010 at 5:27am - misc - by notamathematician (woman) - United States (Washington)
