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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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ivdrscg

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ivdrscg
  • Town/Country : Windsor, Canada
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 August 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 16456
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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ivdrscg's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother found out that I'm sexually active. She wants me to tell my father. I'm seventeen, and my father still has trouble grasping the fact that I carry a purse, because it means I'm "growing up." This should be fun. FML

#12566093 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (22552) - you deserved it (12481)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by sarskii (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

#11817765 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (24698) - you deserved it (7307)

On 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by RachelVanLannen9 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML

#8595020 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (5832) - you deserved it (13387)

On 02/23/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by lendahandmanda (woman) - United States (California)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

#8365042 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (14317) - you deserved it (1488)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:40am - intimacy - by thatssickkk - United States (California)

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML

#8300891 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (29009) - you deserved it (2343)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm - love - by ShayisPay101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone last night. He was hanging out with our mutual friend all night. She had been texting me all night about what great sex she was having. My boyfriend was the only person there besides her brother. FML

#7906309 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (22286) - you deserved it (1579)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:01pm - intimacy - by michelle - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML

#7839912 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (4637) - you deserved it (21729)

On 02/03/2010 at 3:42am - misc - by notaprossie (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was on my grandparents' computer looking for my old high school resume. I came across a word document titled "Experiences". Thinking it was part of my resume, I opened it up and started reading. It was a brief, yet explicit record of my grandfather's recent sexual frustrations. FML

#7631314 (44)

I agree, your life sucks (9069) - you deserved it (3243)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:00am - intimacy - by nick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (20417) - you deserved it (2955)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

#7538814 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (15582) - you deserved it (4581)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (38442) - you deserved it (5694)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband is completely convinced that his taking a massive dump after being constipated is exactly like the time I gave birth to our twins. FML

#7215962 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (23026) - you deserved it (2892)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

#7212033 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (24381) - you deserved it (1856)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France

Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML

#7203550 (40)

I agree, your life sucks (23474) - you deserved it (1043)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Darkness162000 - France

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

#7189298 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (48439) - you deserved it (2069)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)