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itspretzelday

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itspretzelday
  • Town/Country : Orlando, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 December 1990 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1211
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 12 posted

About itspretzelday : I'm a writer on hiatus from college. 'Nuff said.

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itspretzelday's favorite FMLs

Today, I sang my signature tune at a karaoke bar - What A Wonderful World - and I thought I sounded my best yet. After my performance, I went outside to get some air. Then, I got assaulted in the parking lot and ended up going to the hospital. What a wonderful world indeed. FML

#1245192
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45778) - you deserved it (3713)

On 04/23/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by karaokestar (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

#1244870
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19637) - you deserved it (58715)

On 04/23/2009 at 12:20am - intimacy - by rejected (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML

#1243795
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7938) - you deserved it (67233)

On 04/22/2009 at 11:11pm - misc - by brob56 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, as I was ringing in a customer I noticed that the Febreeze spray can was wet. Noticing this I sniffed my hands because they had gotten wet and said to the customer, "Oh the can is leaking want to go get another one?" He then said, "No it's OK, I just sweat a lot." I sniffed some customer's sweat. FML

#1243329
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40727) - you deserved it (4634)

On 04/22/2009 at 10:44pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

#1242967
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8607) - you deserved it (52097)

On 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to a swimmer I just met. I saw a cute guy and whispered to her "that guy is hot." She asked "Who?" I pointed at him. She turned to see him, then turned back to me and said "Ew, thats my brother." She went to him, whispered something. He turned around to see me and said "EW." FML

#1242377
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44494) - you deserved it (5274)

On 04/22/2009 at 9:58pm - love - by uglyswimmer (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

#1230911
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80053) - you deserved it (12430)

On 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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