itspretzelday

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itspretzelday

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 December 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1985
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 12 posted

About itspretzelday : I'm a writer on hiatus from college. 'Nuff said.

itspretzelday's page activity

Visits<b>Helldemon</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 10:52am<b>lyhom</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 1:04am<b>wildhorseman</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:40pm<b>edvin</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:30pm<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 7:42pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:06am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 8:46am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 12:16pm<b>goawayy</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 6:22pm<b>SkiPort</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 10:55am<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 9:36am<b>guiltySnake</b> - the 10/31/2012 at 4:44am<b>missalice0306</b> - the 09/18/2012 at 5:31am<b>synthetictruism</b> - the 08/22/2012 at 8:57am<b>AskMyName</b> - the 08/01/2012 at 3:35pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:47pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:12am<b>thao</b> - the 10/01/2010 at 7:29pm

itspretzelday's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

itspretzelday's favorite FMLs

Today, I sang my signature tune at a karaoke bar - What A Wonderful World - and I thought I sounded my best yet. After my performance, I went outside to get some air. Then, I got assaulted in the parking lot and ended up going to the hospital. What a wonderful world indeed. FML

by karaokestar / 04/23/2009 at 12:42am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

by rejected / 04/23/2009 at 12:20am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML

by brob56 / 04/22/2009 at 11:11pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, as I was ringing in a customer I noticed that the Febreeze spray can was wet. Noticing this I sniffed my hands because they had gotten wet and said to the customer, "Oh the can is leaking want to go get another one?" He then said, "No it's OK, I just sweat a lot." I sniffed some customer's sweat. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2009 at 10:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to a swimmer I just met. I saw a cute guy and whispered to her "that guy is hot." She asked "Who?" I pointed at him. She turned to see him, then turned back to me and said "Ew, thats my brother." She went to him, whispered something. He turned around to see me and said "EW." FML

by uglyswimmer / 04/22/2009 at 9:58pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm / United States (Washington) / Kids