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About itspretzelday : I'm a writer on hiatus from college. 'Nuff said.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37512) - you deserved it (11296)
On 04/25/2009 at 11:10pm - animals - by poopedon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my best friend and I performed a rap to our whole school. The rap was "made up" by our friend. After the performance, a lot of friends asked me why I did a rap from Hannah Montana. Apparently the rap was off of a show for 8 year olds. We are 17 and people think we watch Hannah Montana. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11388) - you deserved it (38138)
On 04/25/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, was my 16th birthday and I was supposed to be surprised with a new car. I have overheard my parents talking about bringing it home tonight while I was at a friend's house. We snuck back to my house to see them bring my car home. All I saw was my Dad crash my new car into a street lamp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44081) - you deserved it (9263)
On 04/25/2009 at 8:44pm - misc - by crashednowcrushed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while walking through the halls of my high school, me and my boyfriend shared a quick kiss. A young teacher walks by and tells us to stop due to Personal Display of Affection rules at our school. She then looks at my boyfriend and tells him he could do so much better. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54134) - you deserved it (4200)
On 04/25/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, is my boyfriend and my 3 year anniversary. We decided to give each other something that we really needed. I bought him the $300 worth of books that he needed for college. He surprised me with a workout video and exercise equipment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42814) - you deserved it (7751)
On 04/25/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by fmlgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, was my graduation from a prestigious university. In two days I start working at a hot dog stand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52658) - you deserved it (12019)
On 04/25/2009 at 2:39am - work - by CollegeGrad (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was ringing a lady up at the register. I noticed her son was doing the peepee dance, so I rushed the payment process up and handed her the receipt. The little boy says "Mommy" and the mom looks down, then back up at me saying, "Your problem now" and walks out. The boy peed on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44894) - you deserved it (1416)
On 04/25/2009 at 12:35am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13702) - you deserved it (37435)
On 04/23/2009 at 7:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I got dressed in what I thought was a really adorable outfit. I had a cute pink skirt on, a white tank top and silver strappy sandal heels. On my way to the mall a car pulls over and this guy asks me how much for three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22681) - you deserved it (54264)
On 04/23/2009 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by gabormelchior (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was home by myself. I was singing "If I Had A Million Dollars" really loudly since I figured no one could hear me. As I'm really into the song, my neighbor shouts, "If I had a million dollars, I'd give it to you to stop singing" and slams his balcony door shut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29260) - you deserved it (20223)
On 04/23/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by NotAmericanIdol (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I read all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8754) - you deserved it (44399)
On 04/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by notexactly (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9680) - you deserved it (143008)
On 04/23/2009 at 3:16am - misc - by danielle (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18404) - you deserved it (64586)
On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I sang my signature tune at a karaoke bar - What A Wonderful World - and I thought I sounded my best yet. After my performance, I went outside to get some air. Then, I got assaulted in the parking lot and ended up going to the hospital. What a wonderful world indeed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44754) - you deserved it (3557)
On 04/23/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by karaokestar (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19138) - you deserved it (57801)
On 04/23/2009 at 12:20am - intimacy - by rejected (man) - United States (Nevada)
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