itspretzelday

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itspretzelday

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 December 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2024
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 12 posted

About itspretzelday : I'm a writer on hiatus from college. 'Nuff said.

itspretzelday's page activity

Visits<b>Helldemon</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 10:52am<b>lyhom</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 1:04am<b>wildhorseman</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:40pm<b>edvin</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:30pm<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 7:42pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:06am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 8:46am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 12:16pm<b>goawayy</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 6:22pm<b>SkiPort</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 10:55am<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 9:36am<b>guiltySnake</b> - the 10/31/2012 at 4:44am<b>missalice0306</b> - the 09/18/2012 at 5:31am<b>synthetictruism</b> - the 08/22/2012 at 8:57am<b>AskMyName</b> - the 08/01/2012 at 3:35pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:47pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:12am<b>thao</b> - the 10/01/2010 at 7:29pm

itspretzelday's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

itspretzelday's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

by poopedon / 04/25/2009 at 11:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my best friend and I performed a rap to our whole school. The rap was "made up" by our friend. After the performance, a lot of friends asked me why I did a rap from Hannah Montana. Apparently the rap was off of a show for 8 year olds. We are 17 and people think we watch Hannah Montana. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2009 at 10:03pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my 16th birthday and I was supposed to be surprised with a new car. I have overheard my parents talking about bringing it home tonight while I was at a friend's house. We snuck back to my house to see them bring my car home. All I saw was my Dad crash my new car into a street lamp. FML

by crashednowcrushed / 04/25/2009 at 8:44pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, while walking through the halls of my high school, me and my boyfriend shared a quick kiss. A young teacher walks by and tells us to stop due to Personal Display of Affection rules at our school. She then looks at my boyfriend and tells him he could do so much better. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2009 at 5:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, is my boyfriend and my 3 year anniversary. We decided to give each other something that we really needed. I bought him the $300 worth of books that he needed for college. He surprised me with a workout video and exercise equipment. FML

by fmlgirl / 04/25/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, was my graduation from a prestigious university. In two days I start working at a hot dog stand. FML

by CollegeGrad / 04/25/2009 at 2:39am / United States (Utah) / Work

Today, I was ringing a lady up at the register. I noticed her son was doing the peepee dance, so I rushed the payment process up and handed her the receipt. The little boy says "Mommy" and the mom looks down, then back up at me saying, "Your problem now" and walks out. The boy peed on the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2009 at 12:35am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I was ringing a lady up at the register. I noticed her son was doing the peepee dance, so I rushed the payment process up and handed her the receipt. The little boy says "Mommy" and the mom looks down, then back up at me saying, "Your problem now" and walks out. The boy peed on the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2009 at 12:35am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2009 at 7:43pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I got dressed in what I thought was a really adorable outfit. I had a cute pink skirt on, a white tank top and silver strappy sandal heels. On my way to the mall a car pulls over and this guy asks me how much for three hours. FML

by gabormelchior / 04/23/2009 at 4:07pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was home by myself. I was singing "If I Had A Million Dollars" really loudly since I figured no one could hear me. As I'm really into the song, my neighbor shouts, "If I had a million dollars, I'd give it to you to stop singing" and slams his balcony door shut. FML

by NotAmericanIdol / 04/23/2009 at 4:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I read all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML

by notexactly / 04/23/2009 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML

by danielle / 04/23/2009 at 3:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML

by danielle / 04/23/2009 at 3:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

by tgstreaks / 04/23/2009 at 1:44am / United States (Mississippi) / Health