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itsbecca

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itsbecca
  • Town/Country : london, England
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 February 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1342
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About itsbecca : oh hey

itsbecca's last visitors

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itsbecca's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of itsbecca's badges

itsbecca's favorite FMLs

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

#16951443
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23069) - you deserved it (9827) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Hum - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22849) - you deserved it (6463)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

#8052532
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11089) - you deserved it (22613)

On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML

#7811688
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29836) - you deserved it (2460)

On 02/02/2010 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25240) - you deserved it (3814)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML

#7309178
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25499) - you deserved it (4747)

On 01/12/2010 at 9:57pm - misc - by pass_the_tp (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

#7295909
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9500) - you deserved it (34591)

On 01/12/2010 at 5:26am - love - by awkward23 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friends let me win at strip poker so I wouldn't take off my clothes. FML

#7293209
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27783) - you deserved it (5441)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:42am - misc - by Absent - France

Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

#7286498
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21608) - you deserved it (2257)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML

#7215986
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24826) - you deserved it (2982)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:35am - work - by WesJaz (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was watching Star Wars : Attack of the Clones, and Yoda was using the force to move a heavy object. While in the middle of my loungeroom, I instinctively put my hand up to use the force to help him, infront of my father and sister. My sister will never let me live it down. FML

#7212401
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5277) - you deserved it (30817)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:56am - misc - by Fuzzy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28651) - you deserved it (8186)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, we had company over, and after dinner, I saw a package of gumballs sitting on the table. Figuring my brother had brought them, I took one and bit it. I got a bunch of weird looks. Turns out wasn't a gumball - it was a mini paintball. FML

#6768008
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5808) - you deserved it (17977)

On 12/15/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by BlueMouth (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13863) - you deserved it (20938)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

#6748934
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30893) - you deserved it (3881)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:05am - love - by luckygirl (woman) - United States (California)



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