itsbecca

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itsbecca

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 February 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1796
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About itsbecca : oh hey

itsbecca's page activity

Visits<b>itsuniversal</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 4:32pm<b>Noobish_Elk</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 7:13am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 5:06am<b>xKG33x</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 9:20am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 6:19pm<b>ncbb5</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 8:48am<b>Mentally_Artsy</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 12:25am<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 4:52pm<b>chronicB</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 11:09am<b>edenxero</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 12:28am<b>dkish</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 5:03pm<b>ilikevideosgames</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 4:57am<b>Kvothee</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 1:43pm<b>brittany310</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 10:37pm<b>Herrochild</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 3:26pm<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 9:12pm<b>swaftmasterj627</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 12:17am<b>mikepzz</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:55pm

Fucked!<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 11:06am<b>Kvothee</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 7:43pm<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 3:12am

itsbecca's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of itsbecca's badges

itsbecca's favorite FMLs

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

by Hum / 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm / Switzerland (Ticino) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

by Patrick / 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

by kingmetal42 / 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2010 at 10:40am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 3:47am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML

by pass_the_tp / 01/12/2010 at 9:57pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

by awkward23 / 01/12/2010 at 5:26am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my friends let me win at strip poker so I wouldn't take off my clothes. FML

by Absent / 01/12/2010 at 12:42am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2010 at 8:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML

by WesJaz / 01/08/2010 at 11:35am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I was watching Star Wars : Attack of the Clones, and Yoda was using the force to move a heavy object. While in the middle of my loungeroom, I instinctively put my hand up to use the force to help him, infront of my father and sister. My sister will never let me live it down. FML

by Fuzzy / 01/08/2010 at 2:56am / Australia (New South Wales) / Geek

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

by poordog / 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, we had company over, and after dinner, I saw a package of gumballs sitting on the table. Figuring my brother had brought them, I took one and bit it. I got a bunch of weird looks. Turns out wasn't a gumball - it was a mini paintball. FML

by BlueMouth / 12/15/2009 at 8:39pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

by Proof-Reader / 12/15/2009 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

by luckygirl / 12/14/2009 at 4:05am / United States (California) / Love