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Today, I was skiing really fast and there was a sign saying 'Slow Down'. Feeling rather good about myself I decided to jump over the sign. Whilst jumping, however, I caught my ski tips on the sign and went face first into the ground. Hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1652) - you totally deserved it (24190)
On 01/28/2010 at 9:01pm - health - by Skier (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my grandpa sent me a letter apologizing for not congratulating me about my graduation last spring. Too bad I don't graduate until May. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11834) - you totally deserved it (2200)
On 12/17/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by chill (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18434) - you totally deserved it (11357)
On 12/16/2009 at 8:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I realized that if you are too lazy to get completely dressed in the morning and only put on a top, you should not answer a Skype video call from your boss that involves you standing up, turning around and grabbing files from your filing cabinet all in clear view of your web cam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3879) - you totally deserved it (20888)
On 11/11/2009 at 8:54pm - work - by julie (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I received a rejection letter from a company I interviewed with three weeks ago. They didn't mention giving my $200 portfolio back. Guess I'll keep using my 4-year degree to wait tables. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15472) - you totally deserved it (1437)
On 11/10/2009 at 1:20am - work - by blargggggg (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4527) - you totally deserved it (167358)
On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16771) - you totally deserved it (250094)
On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - health - by dumptaker (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73952) - you totally deserved it (3785)
On 03/26/2009 at 9:38pm - love - by bride (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (220840) - you totally deserved it (244729)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mom : "You and your dad like all the same foods right? Try this for me", she then proceeds to give me a strawberry flavored jelly. I say that it tastes good and ask what she gave me. "It's my new nipple cream, I want to surprise your dad tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (264534) - you totally deserved it (14534)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:54am - intimacy - by yada (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84979) - you totally deserved it (14112)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come on, don't be shy, bring that cock in here right now!". A voice replies: "he's gone out to get some bread". It was my mother in law. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18678) - you totally deserved it (5983)
On 11/20/2008 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Tinker-Bell - France (Ile-de-France)
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