islandgirly

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islandgirly

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4272
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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islandgirly's page activity

Visits<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:50am<b>YellowKettleBell</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:57pm<b>Rndmtsk</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 1:32pm<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 4:18am<b>blackpuddle</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 6:46pm<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 06/17/2010 at 7:55am<b>fisheatsbear</b> - the 06/13/2010 at 1:06am

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islandgirly's favorite FMLs

Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 1:29am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I had a customer scream at me for ruining their child's birthday party. They had bought a Piñata from me and didn't know they had to fill it themselves. The kids had hit it open and it was empty. FML

by Fitz / 07/29/2013 at 2:30am / United States / Work

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

by picklebug / 07/26/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

by suckstosuck / 07/23/2013 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after a church service, a man approached me as I was walking to my car. He had tears in his eyes and politely asked if I would pray with him. He asked if we could hold hands. As I reached out to hold his hands, the bitch snatched my purse and ran. FML

by HillaryAngelic / 07/22/2013 at 3:09am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML

by Gross / 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

by accountnamevalid / 07/21/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

by no new apartment for me / 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. His reason was that my laugh is really annoying and makes him want to "stick a baby in a blender". FML

by ... cheers / 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Love

Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML

by TNDriver / 07/16/2013 at 9:12am / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

by John / 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Utah) / Animals