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islandgirly

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islandgirly

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1913
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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islandgirly's page activity

Visits<b>YellowKettleBell</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:57pm<b>Rndmtsk</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 1:32pm<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 4:18am<b>blackpuddle</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 6:46pm<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 06/17/2010 at 7:55am<b>fisheatsbear</b> - the 06/13/2010 at 1:06am

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islandgirly's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. His reason was that my laugh is really annoying and makes him want to "stick a baby in a blender". FML

#20786622
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45743) - you deserved it (8979)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm - love - by ... cheers (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML

#20786059
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44966) - you deserved it (13341)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:12am - misc - by TNDriver (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50370) - you deserved it (4168)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

#20773275
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27123) - you deserved it (45453)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58607) - you deserved it (10825)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML

#20757856
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47792) - you deserved it (9955)

On 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

#20752893
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49705) - you deserved it (5728)

On 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm - work - by DocKreso (man) - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

#20749580
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25287) - you deserved it (45939)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by authorx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

#20749220
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25194) - you deserved it (31842)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by blahblah (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML

#20745749
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25810) - you deserved it (40141)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML

#20738351
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45051) - you deserved it (8274)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:44am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I lost my car keys, so I asked my ex-husband if he still had his spare to my car. He said he'd send it. I got an empty envelope with a troll face on it. There's a reason I left him. FML

#20738006
121 comments

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56927) - you deserved it (4071)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68722) - you deserved it (3948)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML



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