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islandgirly

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islandgirly
  • Town/Country : glendora, usa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1405
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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islandgirly's favorite FMLs

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

#20773275
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26528) - you deserved it (44470)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53081) - you deserved it (9595)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML

#20757856
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46167) - you deserved it (9681)

On 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

#20752893
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47739) - you deserved it (5504)

On 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm - work - by DocKreso (man) - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

#20749580
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24675) - you deserved it (44947)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by authorx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

#20749220
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22731) - you deserved it (29201)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by blahblah (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML

#20745749
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24822) - you deserved it (38755)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML

#20738351
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43944) - you deserved it (8139)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:44am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I lost my car keys, so I asked my ex-husband if he still had his spare to my car. He said he'd send it. I got an empty envelope with a troll face on it. There's a reason I left him. FML

#20738006
121 comments

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54948) - you deserved it (3881)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61848) - you deserved it (2810)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to go to the Apple store and log me on to Facebook on every single computer. FML

#20695876
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40020) - you deserved it (7403)

On 05/30/2013 at 7:06pm - love - by Terminator101101 - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mum made me take her poodle on a walk, which she'd dressed in a tiara and a pink dog dress. Being a 19-year-old guy, I was pissed. After I got home, I saw that my mom had filmed me from the window and posted it to Facebook, to everyone's great delight. FML

#20695533
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44071) - you deserved it (5261)

On 05/30/2013 at 4:25pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML

#20691712
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16503) - you deserved it (40952)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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