Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

islandgirly

Offline (the 11/29/2014 at 3:55pm) | Search for a member

islandgirly

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2978
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

islandgirly's page activity

Visits<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:50am<b>YellowKettleBell</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:57pm<b>Rndmtsk</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 1:32pm<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 4:18am<b>blackpuddle</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 6:46pm<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 06/17/2010 at 7:55am<b>fisheatsbear</b> - the 06/13/2010 at 1:06am

islandgirly's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of islandgirly's badges

islandgirly's favorite FMLs

today ona of mah yaar looool 9 studants finishad tha tast an hour aarly. Ha dacidad to spand tha tima by ( staalthily ) whacking off. His antira dask was shaking in a silant room. FML

Yesterday... mah wife got all excitedhen she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heret to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47113) - you deserved it (6128)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today I Movad Into My Naw Housa . Tha Praviou Occupant Failad To Tall Ma That Thay'd Racantly Kickad Out Thara Crazy Crackhaad Son Ho Saams To Think Thay'va Paid Ma To Pratand That Thay'va Movad Out And That I'm Tha Naw Ownar . Ha Wants Back In . FML

#21136773
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42682) - you deserved it (3280)

On 05/11/2014 at 3:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today usband an I puttd our cildren to bd a little earlier tan usual so we could ave some sexy time. Immediately following full-blown orgasm I rolld over only to see wide-eyd son peeking over te top of te mattress. fat FML

#21133668
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61747) - you deserved it (14193)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I Retrieved Te Wrong Luggage From An Arport Carousel. I'm Now Te Owner Of Two Water-bras, A False Beard, A Bag Of Cat Litter, An Some Anal Beads. I Am Afraid To Get In Touc Wit Te Original Owner.

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38802) - you deserved it (5727)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

today I fartd so loudly I not only woke myself up, but ma usband as well. He mistook ma gas for someone trying to break in and insistd on cecking teole ouse. I was too embarrassd to tell im te trut. FML

#21125262
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42209) - you deserved it (8575)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)

MY TODDLER FOUND MAH DAUGHTER'S RECORDER FROM 3RD GRADE AND FIGURED OUT HOW TO PLAY THE HIGHEST PITCH NOTE. OF COURSE, MAH DAUGHTER PULLS OUT HER TROMBONE TO HAVE A JAM SESSION. AND I'M OUT OF IBUPROFEN. FML

#21121712
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36693) - you deserved it (4995)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:28am - kids - by missmom83 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

TODAY, MAH DAD HIT HIS MID-LIFE CRISIS. WHEN I CAME HOME AND SAID HI, HE TOLD ME TO SHUT UP, THEN WENT TO THE LIVING ROOM. HE THEN LIT UP A CIGARETTE AND STARTED MUTTERING ABOUT HAVING TO PUTTED UP WITH ME, THEN WENT INTO A COUGHING FIT, CUZ HE'S NEVER SMOKED BEFORE IN HIS LIFE. FML

#21110266
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41694) - you deserved it (3086)

On 04/11/2014 at 12:38pm - misc - by Cuntlette (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, things were getting heatd with the grlfriend. We were mostly nakd, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissd her deeply an whisperd into her ear, "You should loose some wieght". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

TODAY, I WAS WALKING HOME,HEN A CAR HEADING THE OTHER WAY HIT A TRAFFIC CONE. I MUST HAVE BEEN AN ASSHOLE IN A PREVIOUS LIFE, BECAUSE THE UNIVERSE DECIDED TO MAKE SURE THE CONE FLEW INTO THE SIDE OF MY HEAD. THE BYSTANDERS WERE SHOCKED FIR ALL OF TWO SECONDS BEFORE LAUGHING. MEGA FML

#21068594
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42009) - you deserved it (3943)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, mah husband cracked a "rectum? damn near killed him" joke at mah grandfather's funeral!! He had genuinely spoken without thinking, but his quick gasp and "Oh shit" sounded quite sarcastic!! We were both kicked out!! My family think I put him up to the whole thing!! FML

#21062405
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38374) - you deserved it (4289)

On 02/16/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by shanti (woman) -

yesterday out of boredom I built cat a little fort!! Later I decided to crawl inside to pet her but as soon as I stuck head in she clawed me!! I guess I'm not allowed in then!! real FML

#21061796
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38904) - you deserved it (8545)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Today.. . At The Bank Where I Work.. . I Escorted A Very Short Woman To Her Safe Deposit Box In The Vault . I Left Her Alone.. . Knowing She Could Use The Phone To Call The Reception When She Was Ready To Leave . We Later Realised The Phone Was Too High Fir Her To Reach . If Glares Could Kill . FML

#21057082
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41576) - you deserved it (6694) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/11/2014 at 5:01am - work - by norina (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bled so I pluggd it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fre as well. FML

#21050725
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35966) - you deserved it (40495)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm - health - by anonymous - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: