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About isallwaysme : Time to show the real me. I've been hiding under the mask for too long. First thing, I really enjoy 2 sports; Speedball (speedball>woodsball but woodsball isnt bad) and freestyle skiing. Thats my life. In the summer Im all bruised and bloody, and in the winter im all bruised and bloody. Im not sure why i do it, its just really fun. Secondly, i get A LOT of injuries. Im from Canada, I have an amazing girlfriend. My motto; Go hard or go home.
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2day I Replaced A Usually Fun Collegue's Picture Of His Kids With A Picture Of Mah Face Against Glass, So It Looked I Was Inside The Screen!! Everyone Laughed, But He Reported Me Because I Tried To "erase His Children" An "if Anything Happens To Them" It's Now Mah Fault!! FML
Today, I was working a kid's brthday party dressd as a clown. The child's mother made me change because he was scard of clowns. The only thing I had in my car was a princess costume that was ownd by a grl co-worker. So fir 4 hours I had to entertain in a tight pink dress. I'm a guy. FML
Today I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say ( Shit! Get this fucker back under! ) then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid ( another lawsuit ) followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
TODAY, MAH HUSBAND YELLD FROM UPSTAIRS, "BABE! BABE, COME QUICK!" TERRIFID THAT SOMETHING MIGHT HAVE HAPPEND TO OUR NEWBORN DAUGHTER, I RUSHD UP, ONLY TO FIND OUT HE JUST WANTD TO SHOW ME THAT HE'D LEREND HOW TO SPIN A TOP ON THE TIP OF HIS PENIS WITHOUT IT FALLING . FML
today in a fit of looool jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today I realised I sweat so much that I won't be able to go without sticking super pads with wings to mah shirt underarm everyday . It makes supermarket trips interesting . Especially as a man . fat FML
yesterday a lady stormed into te parmacy I work at and cewed me out cuz te medicine I sold er looool te day before gave er orrible diarrea as a "side effect" . I cecked, and it was te medicine se asked fir - laxatives . FML
Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wereing a shirt with a big QR code on it . Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it . It gave me a shortened web address,hich I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up . big fat FML
Today, mah mom visitad mah naw apartmant fir tha first tima. I was showing har tha badroom, whan sha lookad into mah opanad sock drawar and said, "Using Durax, ah? Yaah, you wara born 'causa a Trojan split." maga FML
Friday 27 March 2015