Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

isallwaysme

Search for a member

isallwaysme

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10432
  • Number of comments : 385
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About isallwaysme : Time to show the real me. I've been hiding under the mask for too long. First thing, I really enjoy 2 sports; Speedball (speedball>woodsball but woodsball isnt bad) and freestyle skiing. Thats my life. In the summer Im all bruised and bloody, and in the winter im all bruised and bloody. Im not sure why i do it, its just really fun. Secondly, i get A LOT of injuries. Im from Canada, I have an amazing girlfriend. My motto; Go hard or go home.

isallwaysme's page activity

Visits<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - yesterday at 10:41am<b>Kitcat1234</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:59pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 11:20am<b>Paulcs</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 9:52pm<b>simmybaby_</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 11:12am<b>GeorgeWhiteOP</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:09pm<b>2nd</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 7:10pm<b>llamingo</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 6:04pm<b>david_4197</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 3:50pm<b>Pike313</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 10:02pm<b>Kaoticlol</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 3:25pm<b>SychoticFML</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 7:17pm<b>Twisted_Killjoy</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 6:42pm<b>kmaheynoway</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 7:54am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:30pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 8:11am<b>drpepper2019</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 8:15pm<b>khloelpcn</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 1:05pm

Fucked!<b>Twisted_Killjoy</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 12:42am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:30pm

isallwaysme's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of isallwaysme's badges

isallwaysme's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry for her, had this not been her 7th husband. FML

#20476021
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35966) - you deserved it (2870)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by HereWeGoAgain (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32494) - you deserved it (5504)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took a taxi ride with my friends. As we were getting out, I paid the taxi driver. With a grin, he drove away fast. It turns out my friend had already paid. FML

#20475292
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30550) - you deserved it (7105)

On 01/23/2013 at 6:33pm - money - by stevenr579 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49021) - you deserved it (5892)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

#20470654
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22079) - you deserved it (43147)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36614) - you deserved it (3561)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML

#20466682
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39723) - you deserved it (2716)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by mel (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30435) - you deserved it (9117)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42966) - you deserved it (7380)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

#20460703
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43866) - you deserved it (6016)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41088) - you deserved it (4281)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35421) - you deserved it (3209)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML

#20457387
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35645) - you deserved it (2373)

On 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by daughter of a gullible cunt (woman) - Australia

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26922) - you deserved it (36093)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML

#20451265
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30514) - you deserved it (5825)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by it's just a name (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: