About isallwaysme : learn the fucking difference between "Your" and "You're." If you think I said something stupid, you probably failed to see the sarcasm. That or I just said something stupid. everything happens for a reason. sometimes because you're stupid and make bad decisions. I. AM. CANADIAN. I can't smell or taste, its good for obvious reasons ;) but other than that it sucks. If honey badger don't give a shit, why should I?! I'm starting to get good at commenting, maybe I'll be added to someone elses bio. If you like my comments, send me a message. Oh yeah, I'm on a competitive speedball team. Not a nerdy guy, not a loser. 6ft tall, dirty blond hair, fairly muscular, freestyle skiier, parkour, avid filmer, and athletic. Wow. I sound really cocky.WARNING. JOKE OF THE WEEK CAN BE OFFENSIVE. IF YOU'RE OFFENDED, I DON'T CARE :) JOKE OF THE WEEK: How do you find a black guy in the dark? when he smiles.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, I drove home from work, only to find both my next-door neighbours loudly arguing in the middle of my driveway. I got out and asked them what the hell was going on, only to find out one of their inbred kids had put a brick through my back window, and each is claiming the other did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15893) - you deserved it (1330)
On 01/30/2012 at 6:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10854) - you deserved it (31297)
On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was boarding a plane and an elderly woman asked if I could put her carry on into the overhead bin. Eager to help, I energetically lifted her bag up, and smacked her in the face with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22454) - you deserved it (4045)
On 01/06/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by plantfood - United States
Today, my mom took my cell to work with her. When she got home later, she scolded me for not answering her calls. When I pointed out that she'd taken it, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
I agree, your life sucks (27528) - you deserved it (1810)
On 12/31/2011 at 3:37pm - misc - by yourebeautiful - United States
Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17917) - you deserved it (1908)
On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12852) - you deserved it (38815)
On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)
Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24614) - you deserved it (2038)
On 11/24/2011 at 9:09pm - intimacy - by vistingherfamily (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21059) - you deserved it (5850)
On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I got shot at. Not by police, but by a hunter. While at work. Driving a garbage truck. How the hell a hunter mistook an orange-clad garbageman in a truck for a deer is beyond me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24538) - you deserved it (1850)
On 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by lprocter1982 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6282) - you deserved it (126749)
On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, a guy who I hate commented on my Facebook profile picture that I "look like I've fallen off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down." 60 people liked this, including my boyfriend and best friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29514) - you deserved it (5707)
On 09/20/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by chloeguest97 - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, a guy who I hate commented on my Facebook profile picture that I "look like I've fallen off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down." 60 people liked this, including my boyfriend and best friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29514) - you deserved it (5707)
On 09/20/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by chloeguest97 - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old home from school and search his poop because he "forgot" he's not supposed to swallow things like, in this case, a screw that fell off his scooter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17955) - you deserved it (2683)
On 09/13/2011 at 9:43am - misc - by OopsMonkey - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I tried to back out of a spot in a parking garage. I did a 12 point turn, hit the car behind me and still didn't manage to get out of the spot. Everyone was staring at me, and the attendant had to come over and move my car for me. I have to park there every day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7881) - you deserved it (18415)
On 08/31/2011 at 7:07am - misc - by greatdriver...4 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to a club. The only guy who asked me to dance introduced himself as "Bird Dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18682) - you deserved it (2322)
On 08/26/2011 at 3:35am - love - by EpicMayonnaise (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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