About isallwaysme : learn the fucking difference between "Your" and "You're." If you think I said something stupid, you probably failed to see the sarcasm. That or I just said something stupid. everything happens for a reason. sometimes because you're stupid and make bad decisions. I. AM. CANADIAN. I can't smell or taste, its good for obvious reasons ;) but other than that it sucks. If honey badger don't give a shit, why should I?! I'm starting to get good at commenting, maybe I'll be added to someone elses bio. If you like my comments, send me a message. Oh yeah, I'm on a competitive speedball team. Not a nerdy guy, not a loser. 6ft tall, dirty blond hair, fairly muscular, freestyle skiier, parkour, avid filmer, and athletic. Wow. I sound really cocky.WARNING. JOKE OF THE WEEK CAN BE OFFENSIVE. IF YOU'RE OFFENDED, I DON'T CARE :) JOKE OF THE WEEK: How do you find a black guy in the dark? when he smiles.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39929) - you deserved it (3695)
On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35492) - you deserved it (6217)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48303) - you deserved it (3269)
On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)
Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35314) - you deserved it (6063)
On 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm - kids - by What the fuck, son? (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61924) - you deserved it (4125)
On 05/11/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by stephscort - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37066) - you deserved it (4649)
On 05/11/2013 at 5:52am - misc - by GaveAnInchTakeAMile (woman) - United States
Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69164) - you deserved it (4189)
On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was cleaning dishes in the back. I started to sing to myself. During the chorus I heard the echo of my voice in my ear. My boss had pushed the talk button on my headset so every staff member and everyone in the lobby could hear me over the intercom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37810) - you deserved it (7519)
On 05/10/2013 at 12:44am - work - by legit247 - United States (Missouri)
Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33505) - you deserved it (11558)
On 05/09/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by drug testing - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38562) - you deserved it (7970)
On 05/09/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia (Makkah)
Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37802) - you deserved it (2550)
On 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by fuckingjesusgran (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)
Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41571) - you deserved it (3617)
On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States
Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41571) - you deserved it (3617)
On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States
Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35333) - you deserved it (4380)
On 05/01/2013 at 7:22pm - animals - by Annonymous_Dad (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31327) - you deserved it (3442)
On 05/01/2013 at 7:13pm - misc - by vegas518 - United States (North Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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