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isallwaysme

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isallwaysme
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 703
  • Number of comments : 185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About isallwaysme : learn the fucking difference between "Your" and "You're." If you think I said something stupid, you probably failed to see the sarcasm. That or I just said something stupid. everything happens for a reason. sometimes because you're stupid and make bad decisions. I. AM. CANADIAN. I can't smell or taste, its good for obvious reasons ;) but other than that it sucks. If honey badger don't give a shit, why should I?! I'm starting to get good at commenting, maybe I'll be added to someone elses bio. If you like my comments, send me a message. Oh yeah, I'm on a competitive speedball team. Not a nerdy guy, not a loser. 6ft tall, dirty blond hair, fairly muscular, freestyle skiier, parkour, avid filmer, and athletic. Wow. I sound really cocky.WARNING. JOKE OF THE WEEK CAN BE OFFENSIVE. IF YOU'RE OFFENDED, I DON'T CARE :) JOKE OF THE WEEK: I hate talking my friend in Africa on skype. he's like, "Brb going to get some water." and comes back 6 hours later.

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isallwaysme's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML

#20684874
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9025) - you deserved it (507)

On 05/25/2013 at 1:09am - work - by mmmretail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

#20684256
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15807) - you deserved it (1471)

On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played. FML

#20684142
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20825) - you deserved it (1411)

On 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

#20683669
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23189) - you deserved it (4032)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, my piano teacher complimented my song, calling it great. I was proud and thanked him, then realized he was being sarcastic. FML

#20683283
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22377) - you deserved it (2683)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

#20682049
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30964) - you deserved it (2686)

On 05/23/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by eric4 (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML

#20681811
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28646) - you deserved it (2028)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Buzau)

Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML

#20681698
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30307) - you deserved it (1683)

On 05/23/2013 at 12:40pm - love - by a single fuck (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my allergies started up with a vengeance. Yesterday I broke 4 ribs and fractured my sternum. Every time I sneeze, I swear I can feel the broken bones move around. FML

Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

#20673056
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32609) - you deserved it (6766)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

#20672107
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34920) - you deserved it (17191)

On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37403) - you deserved it (3875)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML

#20670246
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36590) - you deserved it (4742)

On 05/18/2013 at 1:22am - love - by Sarsippius -

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

#20670019
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34328) - you deserved it (9619)

On 05/17/2013 at 10:59pm - love - by moo... -



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