isallwaysme

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isallwaysme

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 14446
  • Number of comments : 385
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About isallwaysme : Time to show the real me. I've been hiding under the mask for too long. First thing, I really enjoy 2 sports; Speedball (speedball>woodsball but woodsball isnt bad) and freestyle skiing. Thats my life. In the summer Im all bruised and bloody, and in the winter im all bruised and bloody. Im not sure why i do it, its just really fun. Secondly, i get A LOT of injuries. Im from Canada, I have an amazing girlfriend. My motto; Go hard or go home.

isallwaysme's page activity

Visits<b>walker9879</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 2:37pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 1:48pm<b>Saxicolous</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 3:01am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 3:11pm<b>Madikat</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 2:10am<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 9:58am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 4:18pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 10:48pm<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 5:59am<b>Addiction333</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 10:45pm<b>thatguy3812</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 9:47am<b>Brunofk7</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 1:35am<b>TheBlackMagister</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 1:44am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 4:32pm<b>forest_2015</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 1:15pm<b>brennaunderwood</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 10:28am<b>Allornone</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 6:00am<b>ninety</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 12:16am

Fucked!<b>Madikat</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 7:10am<b>Twisted_Killjoy</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 12:42am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:30pm

isallwaysme's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of isallwaysme's badges

isallwaysme's favorite FMLs

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

by notsohandy / 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML

by Isitreallythatbad, / 12/22/2013 at 12:37am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother decided to inform me that she doesn't believe canned food can have an expiry date and that the food is still okay to eat years after the 'supposed' expiry date. She's probably been cooking my dinner with expired food for over 17 years. FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2013 at 5:49pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML

by lavenderpiss / 12/15/2013 at 9:04pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

by scared shitless / 12/10/2013 at 4:50am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 10:37am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 6:56am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

by Cian_1 / 11/25/2013 at 6:22am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

by smooth / 11/21/2013 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cussed out by a customer who was unhappy, and he asked to speak with my manager. When I told him I owned the store, he said that that was the problem. Apparently women are "too flaky" to run a bakery properly. FML

by bakingwomannnnnnnn / 11/20/2013 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

by oops999 / 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house at 9am to surprise him on our 1 year anniversary. In the process, I gatecrashed another celebration he was having with his second girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2013 at 1:53pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Love