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Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13433) - you deserved it (2176)
On 02/12/2010 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by rashree (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14064) - you deserved it (3956)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18829) - you deserved it (5799)
On 02/10/2010 at 7:30am - misc - by muffingirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked me how my NutriSystem diet was going. He was looking at my friend's boobs when he asked me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13293) - you deserved it (1346)
On 02/10/2010 at 7:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out that the man I met online was a fake Facebook account, made by my daughter and her friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24727) - you deserved it (5265)
On 02/08/2010 at 12:21am - love - by cupcakemonsteryu - Sent from mobile version
Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23099) - you deserved it (1700)
On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States
Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18836) - you deserved it (2939)
On 02/02/2010 at 12:32pm - animals - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20422) - you deserved it (2331)
On 01/31/2010 at 10:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20055) - you deserved it (3289)
On 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by JK (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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