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ipodtouchgirl

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ipodtouchgirl

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 204
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About ipodtouchgirl : Lesbian, 19. I hate people.

ipodtouchgirl's page activity

Visits<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 6:31am<b>ncsMcLaren77</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 3:21pm<b>poppyseed420</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:30am<b>dhruvinhv</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 3:15am<b>avarland</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 7:04am<b>tidus_titan</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 10:28pm<b>MrCareless</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 6:10pm<b>emmingle</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 2:04pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 9:31pm<b>sarahv04</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 9:00am<b>ariastyles12</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 10:22pm<b>carry_on</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 5:32pm<b>terryaly</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 6:03pm<b>crackmore278</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 11:24pm<b>treynation</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 8:46pm<b>aLiYaaH</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 12:21pm<b>SolarFlare</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 5:08pm<b>mete_orito</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 2:25am

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ipodtouchgirl's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

#21170087
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49245) - you deserved it (8214)

On 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm - kids - by idiotson - United States (New York)

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40857) - you deserved it (4440)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

#21018030
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51446) - you deserved it (6860)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm - health - by stillhurting (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30967) - you deserved it (14710)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

#20968220
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43237) - you deserved it (2913)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by fs (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45046) - you deserved it (4769)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, the kid next to me asked me, in all seriousness, if gay people have feelings like regular people. I'm gay, and I have to sit next to this barnacle until June. FML

#20929195
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48721) - you deserved it (8379)

On 10/21/2013 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48704) - you deserved it (6367)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband refused to let our 7-week-old daughter have a pacifier, because he doesn't want her growing up to be a "whore." FML

#20891477
165 comments

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

#20867417
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48398) - you deserved it (2467)

On 09/04/2013 at 11:59am - work - by resurrected - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

#20866525
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22760) - you deserved it (36125)

On 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50399) - you deserved it (4171)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

#20775513
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58498) - you deserved it (3627)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by whowhat (man) - United States

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49460) - you deserved it (4952)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)



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